


Back to School

by QuestionableLiteraryMerit



Category: Glee, Social Network (2010) RPF
Genre: Crossover, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-02
Updated: 2012-02-02
Packaged: 2017-10-30 12:17:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/331657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuestionableLiteraryMerit/pseuds/QuestionableLiteraryMerit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jesse Eisenberg joins McKinley High as the new guidance counselor. He is immediately befriended by the Glee club director, Mr. Andrew Garfield. Plot includes: Sue making fun of Andrew’s Britishness, a sex education seminar taught by Mr. Eisenberg, an outing, some pouting, and a “Back to School” student assembly show starring New Directions. Featuring Songs By: The White Stripes, The Jackson 5, Salt N Pepa, and the American movie musical classic, “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Impressions

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Compulsive Obsession Disorder](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/6736) by venus_aurea. 



> Setting: Sort of the beginning of Season Two for Glee.

Quinn shifted her eyes downward. She tucked her blonde hair back behind her ears nervously. She was obviously uncomfortable, but Jesse wasn’t sure how to assuage her, given that he had just met her about twenty minutes earlier.

Jesse braced himself by leaning back in his chair and folding his arms out of habit. He quickly unfolded them once he realized the body language might make him appear closed off to the distressed youth.

“Everybody thinks that I’m fine,” Quinn started slowly. “And I am. But…”

Jesse licked his lips and cleared his throat as he ventured to complete her thought.

“Maybe you don’t feel as fine as you think you could be feeling?” He offered.

Quinn looked up at him with eyes that had the barest gleam of tears behind them.

“Yes,” she choked out, head nodding gently.

“I just wish everything could go back to being normal,” Quinn said with a skeptical laugh as she dabbed the edges of her eyes with her fingers. “And that feels like the stupidest thing to say out loud, because no one even cares anymore. No one is calling me Shamu or joking about me having to “lose a little baby weight” behind my back. Nothing. It’s like it never happened.”

Jesse nodded, and glanced at the file on his desk. He made a quick note and then returned his eye contact to Quinn.

“Don’t get me wrong, Mr. Eisenberg. I’m very grateful to be in my position,” Quinn said, snapping her head up as she stifled any further emotion with a rough sniffle. “I know things could be so much worse than they are now. But my question to you is: If no one is hurting my feelings…then where is all this, this _hurt_ , coming from?”

Instinctively, Jesse pushed himself away from his desk. The young lady had whittled the issue down to a rather fine point, and he couldn’t help but be a little intimidated by the magnitude and directness of her question.

“Ms. Fabray, have you gotten a chance to talk, really talk, to anyone about what you’ve been through?”

“After I moved back in with my parents, stuff between us was so weird for so long. It took time, and things started to feel normal again, but they still don’t like to talk about what happened.”

“Has that been hard for you?”

Quinn looked off to side and then back at Jesse.

“I just wanted to forget it all happened, too. It wasn’t hard…at first.”

“And now?”

Quinn summoned a sad smile.

“It’s not as easy as it used to be,” she said. Her voice was beginning to crack along the edges now, like a frozen pond beginning to thaw. Jesse attempted to walk across it.

“That’s perfectly reasonable. You’ve been through a lot and just because you aren’t in maternity wear this year, that’s no reason why you shouldn’t still be feeling the effects. In fact, maybe there’s a part of you that feels worse because no one has called attention to it.”

Quinn looked up in puzzlement that verged on offense.

“Not to suggest that you ever wanted attention, that kind of attention.” Jesse clarified. “What I mean to say is that when everybody disregards something that was actually very significant to us, even if it was something painful, well, not talking about it can make us feel even worse than if they were to ridicule us for it. When nobody says anything, it can make us feel like...like it never happened. Like it doesn’t matter…”

Quinn nodded firmly.

“But it does matter.” Jesse affirmed. “It matters a great deal.”

Quinn bit her lip and then placed her hands in her lap, attempting to regain composure.

“Sometimes, when I look in the mirror, I don’t even recognize myself anymore. If I stare long enough, I can see myself again, but it always takes time. It never used to take anytime at all, and now, when I go to wash my hands and I look up, it’s like… like I’m staring back at some stranger.”

Quinn looked heartbroken. Jesse glanced downward at her file and then picked it up.

“You know, when you made this appointment, I went ahead and checked your student record. It appears as though, despite your unique circumstances, you have maintained your status as head cheerleader for the Cheerios, a member of the Glee club, a member of the Celibacy club, and through and throughout, an enviable grade point average.” Jesse said as he placed the folder back down.

“That is who you are, Ms. Fabray.” Jesse said, tapping the folder on his desk. “You are an intelligent, strong-willed, dedicated, young woman. You have to work through something very hard right now, but you’re still standing. Not just standing, but _thriving_. Thriving where a lot of people would have fallen. And that speaks highly of your character.”

“How can you say all those nice things about me? You barely even know me!”

“They’re not nice things, Ms. Fabray. They’re true things that just so happen to be nice. I would never pander to a student, trust me. We counselors have certain guidelines we have to follow. It’s all very strict and highly regulated, like the Girl Scouts, but without cookies or badges.” Jesse smiled at Quinn who stared back at him with the entranced gaze of anyone who has ever witnessed a miracle and had no way to explain it. The bell for the next period rang in the hallway and quickly broke the spell.

“Thank you for your time, Mr. Eisenberg,” Quinn said. “I’d better get going, otherwise I’ll be late for Chemistry.” She bent over to grab her backpack.

“Why don’t you come by in a week for a follow up?” Jesse said as he also rose from his chair. “You’re certainly welcome anytime at all, but-“

“I will.” Quinn interrupted. “Is Tuesday okay?”

Jesse nodded, waved goodbye, and sat back down at his desk. Quinn rushed for the door, but paused as she opened it.

“Mr. Eisenberg?”

Jesse raised his eyebrows and tilted his head.

“Yes, Ms. Fabray?”

Quinn uttered another gentle “thank you,” but it was barely audible. Had Jesse not been looking at her, he might not even have caught it. He smiled and simply nodded, realizing that she probably didn’t want to prolong the interaction anymore than she had to. Quinn took the cue and left with the same alacrity with which she had begun her exit.

***

Jesse sat by himself at a table in the faculty lounge. He was unpacking the separate elements necessary to assemble his lunch. Each food was packaged in a different Tupperware container to preserve freshness and prevent odors from crossing. One was for condiments. One for vegetables. One was for his slices of pre-toasted bread. As he started to put his sandwich together, he looked around and noticed that he was the only person sitting by himself. Seeing as he was still relatively new and shy by nature, he had not expected to have many friends at McKinley when it was only the second week of school. Still, the experience did conjure up a handful of unpleasant adolescent episodes that he would just have sooner forgotten. Jesse shook the images out of his mind and then, with nothing else to do, pulled out his book bag and began to look over his schedule for the rest of the week. He was completely engrossed in coding appointments by highlighter color when he heard someone address him.

“Pardon me, but would you mind if I took a seat?”

Jesse’s brow knitted in confusion before he picked up his head. He wasn’t at home watching Dr. Who or having a Harry Potter movie marathon with his sister, so who or what entity in the surrounding area could possibly be talking to him in a British accent? He looked up and saw the speaker standing before him in a blue dress shirt, dark slacks, and a grey vest.

His hair was proud and mane-like. His smile was radiant and warm.

Jesse found himself momentarily dumbstruck by the man’s presence.

“I’m sorry?” Jesse asked.

“Wo-would you mind it if I ate lunch with you?” The man gestured to his brown paper sack as though it were a valid form of ID and smiled again, a little unsure of his chances this time.

Jesse’s mouth dropped and began jawing before words could leave his lips and become speech.

“Uh, oh, Yes, I mean, no..I wouldn’t mind. So, yes, of course, please. Have a seat. Have any seat.”

Jesse felt his words were failing him so he made sure to gesture happily to the surrounding chairs.

The man sat across from Jesse quickly but then rose up to move toward him and shake his hand.

“Sorry. So rude of me. The name’s Andrew. Andrew Garfield.”

“Very nice to meet you. I’m Jesse. Jesse Eisenberg.”

“ _You’re_ Mr. Eisenberg? The new guidance counselor?”

Jesse nodded. “Yes. Yes I am. Yes.”

Jessie chastised himself internally. “ _Okaaaay, that was waaaay too many yeses._ ”

Still, despite his clumsy reply, Andrew’s face was beaming.

“I have to extend my thanks to you for helping one of my students, Quinn Fabray. I’ve been trying to get her to see our previous counselor for months now, but she always refused to go. When she finally said she was ready, Ms. Pillsbury had to go and leave us in a lurch but then, well, you showed up at our door and I told her she absolutely needed to make an appointment with you as soon as possible.”

“Quinn is a bright, capable young woman. I think she's going to be just fine on her own, but I was happy to help.” Jesse said simply. “It was nothing, really.”

“Don’t be so modest. I heard her talking about you to some of her classmates, so I can guarantee that you’re getting good word of mouth.” Andrew paused for a moment. “I can’t believe it’s the second week of school and we still hadn’t met until today!”

Andrew seemed to look over Jesse as if he were assessing something. Jesse momentarily considered the gesture to be flirtatious, but then dismissed the possibility altogether. He struggled to come up with something clever to say to Andrew’s last comment.

“Oh, well, uh, my office is…kind of secluded,” Jesse offered. He winced internally at his lack of finesse. A topic change was in order….

“What do you teach?”

“Spanish. And I’m aware how hilarious that must seem given my accent. I imagine my lessons sound something like Monty Python thrown into a blender with a telenovela. I can’t figure out why, but the kids seem to like it.” Andrew shrugged his shoulders, genuinely perplexed by the notion that he was beloved.

“I’m sure that they do,” Jesse agreed, unable to make his voice descend from that skyward, lovesick pitch that it had reached far too quickly. He coughed and then tried to change conversational direction once more.

“Quinn mentioned you in our session. She said that you were also the faculty sponsor to um, oh…" Jesse snapped his fingers struggling to remember the name. "It was some kind of club...”

“THE GLEE CLUB’S DESTRUCTION IS FINALLY IN MY GRASP!” a voice shouted from outside the room. Jesse startled and looked over to see a tall woman in a bright blue tracksuit enter the lounge and saunter toward his table.

Andrew’s smile melted away. His eyes squinted, ever so slightly, and focused on the imposing new figure.

“What are you talking about, Sue?” He asked, anger creeping into his voice.

“Look here, Andrew Lloyd Loser,” Sue said as she held up a student grade report. “I have your Glee kids in my Health and Wellness class this year. Our first chapter was on nutrition and your little Island of Misfit Toys managed to collectively fail the first pop quiz. Now, while that isn’t great news for the future of humanity’s gene pool, it is VERY good news for me.” Sue pulled out a chair and sat between Jesse and Andrew, still not seeming to notice Jesse’s presence.

“A failed pop quiz isn’t grounds for academic probation, Sue.” Andrew countered.

“No, Tony Blair, but it is the start of a beautiful downward spriral . Do you want to know what our next chapter is about? Human Sexuality. HA! Do you know how easy it’s going to be to fail that bunch of mutants? I mean, I could actually risk trying to teach them something…and they STILL wouldn’t learn anything! I’d have better luck teaching a pack of inbred poodles Mother Nature’s dirty little secret.”

“Sue,” Andrew started, but was quickly interrupted.

“Let’s just rattle off your roster of rejected reindeer, shall we? There’s Loveless, and Clueless, and Virgin, and Slutty. Homo and Lame-o, GOD! It’s so hard to keep track. They’re all so numerous and sexually flawed in so many different ways…”

“Sue! How could you say that about those kids? About your own Cheerios?”

“Turncoats, the lot of them. Clueless, Slutty, and especially Miss American Preggo herself, Quinnedict Judas Fabrarnold.”

Upon hearing this disparaging remark against Quinn, Jesse felt the need to interject.

“Quinn has been through a lot in the past year, and negative comments like that from people in authoritarian positions won’t help her work through her issues any faster. As an educator, you should really be more sensitive to that information.”

Sue and Andrew both turned to look at Jesse. Andrew’s eyes sparkled with surprise and admiration. Sue’s were focused on Jesse like the soul-dead marbles of a Great White.

“Who are you? Why are you here?” Sue asked with quiet disgust.

Jesse looked to Andrew briefly for assurance and then answered as confidently as he could.

“I’m Jesse Eisenberg. I’m the new guidance counselor.”

“I don’t care if you’re the tapdancing stepsister of Jesus Christ! My GOD! A newbie? You’re not even a teacher? How dare you interrupt my shouting match with Queen Victoria over here?!”

Andrew rolled his eyes, taking minimal offense.

Sue inhaled a breath to shout once more, but then paused and began to look around. She sniffed the air and curled her nose. Her gaze shifted back and forth between the two men.

“What is this? What did I just step in? Why do you two reek of repressed sexual tension?”

“We don’t know what you’re talking about.” Andrew answered a bit too quickly.

“Liar!” Sue spat at Andrew. She turned sharply to face Jesse. “Look Harpo Marx, I really don’t care if you and Oliver Twist are holding hands or knocking boots. It’s none of my business what sort of personal, romantic mistakes you make outside of these hallowed halls of learning, but I will murder myself and then raise my own corpse from the dead before the faculty lounge becomes a hotspot for illicit, sexual hookups.”

“Oh, _darn_. There go our plans for fifth period,” Jesse deadpanned as he pretended to scratch out an appointment in his book. Sue lifted her head and narrowed her eyes at Jesse. Andrew’s mouth opened slightly in shock, but then quickly closed. He remembered Sue’s accusation and turned to regard her.

“Sue! This is all wildly inappropriate, even for you.” Andrew added quickly. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Hold onto your stardust, Ziggy.” Sue said to Andrew. She turned back to look at Jesse. “I’m willing to forget this ever happened because I’m a good sport, but I hope, for your sake, that you’ll stop getting involved in matters that don’t concern you. You hear me, Nosey Nancy?”

Jesse was fuming now. He had never said a single word against anyone, and here he was being intimidated by this….this hulk of a cheerleading coach? The wheels of his minds starting churning out a plan and, in an unusual display of brashness, his mouth went along with the threat before his brain could proofread the fine print.

“Andrew?” Jesse asked while still keeping his eyes fixed on Sue. “Do you think your Glee club has any time tomorrow to go over a little sexual education? I have an office full of pamphlets that I’m just _dying_ to explicate.”

Andrew grinned wildly at the idea. He slapped his hand on the table.

“All the time in the world!”

“Andrew?” Sue asked as she stared straight at Jesse. “I have read the Kama Sutra cover to cover in the original, ancient Hindi language in which it was written. There is nothing this little guidance counselor can teach your flying monkeys that I haven’t mastered backwards, forwards, and missionary-style. Metaphorically speaking, of course.”

Andrew’s face twisted at the accompanying non-figurative image. Sue rose from her seat, eyes still centered on Jesse.

“You’re making a big mistake, Jewfro. Nothing you say or do will prepare those kids to pass Sue Sylvester’s Sex Test of Doom. With their confidence shattered, the F’s will start piling up. Then I’ll get to assign hours of remedial work and make-up tests by the truckload."

She turned and pointed at Andrew.

"Try rehearsing your tired, 80’s power ballads when you have the little coldsores for less than an hour every week. HA!”

Jesse grinned at the ridiculous lengths Sue was going to thwart Andrew. He stretched out his hand to her, unwilling to delve further into this maddness.

“Thank you for bringing the students’ academic problems to our attention, Ms. Sylvester.”

Sue reluctantly took Jesse’s hand and shook it once before dropping it. Slowly, she backed away from the table and made her way towards the door. Andrew regarded her cooly before he realized she was making a hasty retreat.

“Thanks for stopping by, Sue. Always a pleasure!” Andrew chuckled happily.

“Bite my lasagna, Garfield!” Sue shouted. And with a swift heel turn, she left the room and stomped out of sight. Andrew and Jesse both slouched a bit in their seats. An awkward silence began to settle over the two, but Jesse was quick to break it.

“The lasagna bit was a good one. I thought for sure she was going to take another swipe at your British heritage.”

Andrew laughed heartily, but then covered his head with his hands and groaned.

“I’m so sorry to get you wrapped up in all of this. It’s only your second week here and you already have a mortal enemy. That must be some kind of record.”

“It’s not so bad. I mean, not when I also get to make a friend in the process.”

Andrew smiled, but Jesse’s eyes widened in horror. He couldn’t believe the things that were coming out of his mouth today. Was there really no one at the helm of his superego? Instinctively, he started to backpedal.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed- I mean, we just met. It’s probably presumptuous of me to declare a state of friendship without asking for permission first.”

Andrew shook his head. “No. Not presumptuous at all. You didn’t have to ask. I don’t have a whole lot of friends here, so I’m pretty eager to, uh, how did you put it again?”

“Declare a state of friendship?”

“Declare an official state of friendship. I’ll have our lawyers draw up the papers tomorrow.”

“Right. Right. We can sign them at the meeting. That is, if you’re sure you still want me to go. I know in the heat of the moment it might have seemed like a good idea, but…”

“No. No. Please come. I wouldn’t know the first place to begin. But are you sure it’s not too much trouble for you? All that extra time and effort spent preparing a sexual education tutoring session? I don’t imagine it’s in your job description.”

“Helping students succeed is in my job description. It would be my pleasure.”

Andrew shook his head and smiled, momentarily unable to fathom Jesse’s generosity.

“Speaking of which, when is your club meeting?”

“Six o’ clock.”

“Why the gap?”

“The kids will want to have a decent meal somewhere else before the grueling rehearsals begin this week. We have to fine tune a number for Friday’s assembly. It’s the official kick-off to the new school year.”

“Sounds like fun. What are you planning to perform?”

“The Jackson 5. ABC.”

“Classic.”

“My only problem is that it’s a little short, time-wise. We might need to perform a second number, but it’s tough trying to find a song that fits our scholastic theme. It would help if it was also contrasting in some way too. A little slower. A little softer.”

Jesse scratched his chin. “Give me a minute. It’ll come to me.”

Jesse puzzled out the problem in his head while Andrew began unpacking his lunch. He started filing through his mental playlists.

Belle and Sebastian’s “We Rule the School?”

Too low energy…

Jo Stafford’s “Teach Me Tonight?”

Too erotically focused….

Jesse took a bite of his sandwich and looked over at Andrew again. He was laughing into his own lunch; smiling over bits of apple and giggling into a yogurt cup, occasionally shaking his head. Jesse grinned. He could tell that Andrew was replaying parts of the Sue encounter over in his head. Jesse swooned internally, and then, in the back of his mind, a familiar melody began to play. Immediately, he knew how to fix Andrew’s problem.

“We’re Going to Be Friends.” Jesse declared.

“Pardon?” Andrew asked, scraping the bottom of his yogurt cup. “I thought we had already established that, yes? Signing the papers tomorrow then, aren’t we?”

“No, no. It’s a song. By the White Stripes? It’s acoustic-y, school-related, and completely heartwarming. You’ve got to have heard of it. Tell me you’ve heard of it.”

Andrew shrugged at him hopefully. Jesse sighed and started to dig through his bag, searching for his ipod. He selected the song and readied the player.

“Here,” he said, offering the device to Andrew.

Andrew got out of his seat and opted to sit in the chair next to Jesse instead. He took one earbud for himself and then gently nudged the second one into Jesse’s ear. Jesse’s hands froze from the intimacy of the gesture, but Andrew coaxed them back to life with an encouraging nod. Jesse pressed play and the two stared forward as they listened to the song, occasionally glancing at each other only through their peripheral vision.

When the song ended, Andrew looked dizzy with inspiration.

“That was perfect. It’s officially in the setlist!” Andrew said, taking out the earbud. “We can use it as an opener. We’ll have the kids perform two verses from it to warm up the crowd, and then have everyone explode on stage for the Jackson Five number!”

“Huzzah!” Jesse chirped, not meaning to sound so bubbly in the process.

“What else do you have on here?”

Andrew fumbled the player out of Jesse’s nervous hands and began thumbing through his music collection. Jesse cringed at the thought of him finding something embarrassing. His entire body tensed up as he watched Andrew’s finger glide in circles around the click wheel in reverent silence.

“Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.” Andrew finally said, looking up with raised eyebrows that were impossible to read. Jesse held his breath.

“Somebody has very good taste.”

Jesse’s shoulders relaxed. “Well, it’s only the _most_ underappreciated American movie musical of all time…but whatever, it’s not like I have a strong opinion about it or anything.”

Andrew giggled softly. God, what a sound! Jesse wouldn’t mind it if someone recorded Andrew laughing, set it to music, and released it as a single. An album.

Hell, an entire discography.

“Here we go. Here we go! This is the answer to our Sue Sylvester troubles,” Andrew said as he held the ipod up to Jesse’ face. Jesse blushed slightly as he read the screen.

“Um. How exactly is _that_ supposed to help us teach the kids about sex education?” Jesse asked.

Andrew had already moved away from Jesse and started packing up the remnants of his lunch. Jesse secretly felt resentful.

“Trust me. It’ll help. We just need to practice together. Are you available this afternoon?”

Jesse brightened. “Yes!”

Andrew smirked as he deposited his paper bag into a nearby trashcan. “Perfect. I’ll stop by your office once classes are out and then we can start our own rehearsal.”

“Oh sure.” Jesse said. “Our own rehearsal...”

He paused thoughtfully.

“Wait… _what_?” Jesse asked, but Andrew was already at the door, winking and waving his goodbye.

Jesse was left with a half eaten lunch and a whole table of unpacked Tupperware. He slowly began to put the pieces back together and as he did so, he wondered how, in the span of less than twenty minutes, so much had happened so suddenly.

With his storage containers packed and his appetite diminished, Jesse decided to pull out his notebook and begin organizing his Sex Education lecture for the Glee club. After a moment of scribbling, he put down his pen and stared forward into the distance. Thoughts of Andrew, _possibilities_ involving Andrew, began bubbling up to the surface of his mind.

Rather than fight them, Jesse decided to let them play out a while longer. Just to see where they might go. He glanced down briefly at his ipod and shook his head.

“Another Seven Brides for Seven Brothers fan…”

“Now I know he’s too good to be true.” Jesse thought to himself.

***

Jesse was typing away at his computer when Andrew knocked on the door. He popped his head in and grinned at him.

“Ready?” He asked.

Jesse stood up from his desk. “Ready. But I warn you, I have no performance skills upon which to draw for this escapade.”

Andrew shook his head as he opened the door for Jesse. While walking down the hall, Andrew gabbed on and on about his creative vision for their performance. Andrew was practically skipping, he was so happy. Jesse had to maintain a steady trot to keep up with him

“…and I mean, either way, a rap song will be a little more forgiving of your vocals. Which is not to say that your voice isn’t spectacular, I’m sure it is, but we won’t have to worry quite so much about pitch and range and whatnot.”

“Whoa.” Jesse said, momentarily halting their progress. “I’m going to sing? I thought maybe I could just stand in the back and mouth the lyrics or wave my arms wildly.”

“You have to sing with me. _Please_?” Andrew tilted his head and pouted.

“I don’t think so.” Jesse said as he continued walking forward. Andrew galloped back in motion and tried to match his stride.

“I believe I saw something about singing compliance in the fine print of our friendship contract...”

“I made sure to include an addendum that voids the contract in cases of induced public embarrassment.”

“You’re being impossible and we haven’t even officially started yet. You love musicals, don’t you? Haven’t you ever wanted to _be_ musical?”

“I took some guitar lessons as a kid, and that was more than enough for me. And don’t get any bright ideas about putting me behind an instrument either. I can’t remember anything outside of cursory finger placement.”

“Why did you stop going?”

“A lack of parental funding. The bi-weekly anxiety of recitals took their toll as well.”

“Not a big fan of crowds then?

Jesse shook his head vigorously. “If I had it my way, I would never do anything in front of more than two people at one time.”

Andrew laughed. “I once heard that public speaking actually beats out death in polls where people are asked to choose their biggest fear.”

“I know the reasoning for that. I always feel like I’ll _die_ from embarrassment when I have to speak publically, so I bet people figure: Why not just cut out the middle man and call it a day?”

Andrew laughed as he threw open the door to the choir room.

“You are adorable.” He somehow managed to say it without a hint of condescension, as though it were a fact as obvious and discernible as simple arithmetic.

“You’re still not getting me to sing.” Jesse replied with a raised eyebrow.

Andrew let Jesse reach the doorframe but then guided him to middle of the room by placing his left hand on the small of his back. Jesse blushed a bit, but allowed himself to be shepherded toward the piano. He sat down while Andrew took off his backpack and began looking for something, spreading some of the contents on the top of the piano. Jesse leaned in to take a look, but Andrew playfully pulled his bag closer to his body in order to obstruct the contents. Jesse’s snorted while Andrew giggled. Finally, Andrew found what he was looking for: A piece of sheet music. He held it up triumphantly and then plopped down next to Jesse.

“Close your eyes.”

“What?!” Jesse asked.

“Just do it. Close your eyes. Trust me.”

“Trust you?” Jesse shook his head. “I just met you this afternoon.

“I know. I was there.” Andrew said with a smirk. "And don't I seem trustworthy?"

Jesse rolled his eyes and then reluctantly closed them. Andrew placed the sheet music on top of the piano and got into position.

“No peeking.” Andrew said as he began to play.

Jesse couldn’t place the song at first. The first few notes instantly felt warm and familiar, like a hug from an old friend, but the name still escaped him. Once Andrew started to sing, the clouds parted.

“ _When you’re in love. When you’re in love. There is no way on earth to hiiiiide it_.”

“Oh my God.” Jesse said, trying to catch his breath.

“ _When you’re in love. Really in love. You simply let your heart deciiiiide it._ ” Andrew tried to restrain his excitement, but he was so thrilled by Jesse's reaction that his voice would break softly with the lightest of chuckles at the end of his stanzas.

“ _How can you tell, what’s in its spell?_ ” He continued.

“ _How can you tell until you’ve triiiiiied it_?” Jesse interjected. Andrew was slightly surprised, but gladly harmonized with him.

“ _Hold me till starlight fades aboooove,_ ” Andrew sang.

“ _And let you heart decide when you’re…in….love._ ” Jesse replied.

He joined Andrew for the second set of verses.

The melding of their voices somehow managed to both put Jesse at complete ease and make him gloriously nervous, which was, in Jesse’s mind, perhaps the best way to describe love.

_"[Wait for that kiss you're certain of...](http://laura-noodles.tumblr.com/post/4581039898/when-youre-in-love-stanley-donen-demo) _

_[And let your heart decide when you're in love.](http://laura-noodles.tumblr.com/post/4581039898/when-youre-in-love-stanley-donen-demo)"_

“Thank you so much, Andrew. That was…beautiful.”

Andrew shrugged.

“I thought you might like it. And as a bonus, I got you to sing.” Andrew said with a wink.

Jesse blinked for a moment, processing what just happened. Once realization started to sink in, he playfully grabbed at Andrew’s shoulder.

“You _rat_! You tricked me into forgetting my anxiety!”

“Well, I suppose I had a little help from Mr. Johnny Mercer.” Andrew said with another grin. He placed his hands on the keys and began to play the song once more. Slower in tempo this time.

Jesse sighed again and marveled at Andrew’s playing; his long, slender fingers dancing across the white and black keys.

“I still can’t believe you have sheet music from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers…”

“I did a production of it in high school. Our director gave me the sheet music as a graduation present during my senior year. Best gift I got. Hands down.”

“Which brother did you portray in the production?”

“Gideon. I trained as a gymnast when I was a kid, so I was able to do some of the flips and tricks he's known for in the movie.”

“Gideon was always my favorite brother. He was so funny…and talented! I mean, Russ Tamblyn probably had the most challenging choreography out of the entire cast.”

“He wasn’t easy to play, that’s for sure, but I took some dance classes as a kid, so those came in handy as well. I’m certainly no Russ Tamblyn, but a reasonable substitute? I like to think I was.”

“Wow.” Jesse mused. “Gymnastics, music, dancing, Spanish….Is there anything you don’t do well?”

“I’m not particularly good at subtlety.” Andrew said, staring straight into Jesse’s eyes. He stopped playing the piano, and once the melody fell silent, Jesse’s heart began pounding in his ears.

“Well, I’ve always found subtlety to be grossly overrated.” Jesse laughed nervously. “People should just say what they mean and mean what they say.”

Andrew licked his bottom lip. Jesse blinked.

And then they both heard a loud cough in the distance.

Andrew and Jesse turned suddenly to look at the entrance. There was Kurt Hummel, standing in the doorframe waiting for them to acknowledge him.

“Kurt!” Andrew said a little loudly. “How are you doing?”

“Fine, thank you.” Kurt sounded testy.

“Have you met, Mr. Eisenberg? He’s taking over for Ms. Pillsbury as the new guidance counselor.”

“Nice to meet you, Kurt.” Jesse said with a wave of his hand.

“Pleasure. Um, Mr. Garfield…” Kurt began, shifting his attention back to Andrew. “I wanted to rehearse a number for Glee club, so I stopped by to use the choir room.”

“Well, I’m sorry Kurt, but Mr. Eisenberg and I are using it to prepare for tomorrow’s meeting. We have to have an emergency session for everyone taking Coach Sylvester’s Heath and Wellness class.”

“And you need a piano for practicing which one exactly? Health or wellness?” Kurt asked with furrowed brow.

Andrew laughed off the insolence. “It’s a _surprise_. You’ll see tomorrow at the meeting. Until then, why don’t you use the auditorium? There’s a piano there too, and the acoustics are even better.”

Kurt nodded warily, keeping an eye on Jesse. “Sure, Mr. Garfield. Sorry for interrupting.”

“Not a problem! Can’t wait to hear your number!” Andrew called out as Kurt exited the room.

Jesse exhaled. Andrew looked down and seemed to be collecting his thoughts.

“So,” Jesse said with a smile. “Where were we, again?”

“Wha-oh, I guess we were talking about dancing…” Andrew got up quickly and began sifting through his backpack for a CD. “We better get to work then. It's getting late. Go ahead and stand up so I can show you my ideas for our choreography.”

“Okaaaaay.” Jesse acquiesced, rising from the piano bench. He frowned at the shift in mood.

“You’re familiar with the song, so I think we should really just focus on our dancing for now. I’ll keep the steps simple. Here, watch me first…” Andrew loaded the CD, pressed play, and began to dance.

Jesse stared in awe as Andrew proved his mastery of yet another skill. He was a little upset that their moment had been interrupted, but he didn’t mind it for very long. Watching Andrew dance was completely engrossing. After the demonstration, Jesse asked for Andrew to draw out the steps for him on the dry-erase board. Andrew happily obliged. After a few run-throughs, Jesse impressed Andrew by listing all the steps in the correct sequence without once looking at the board.

“Good. Now, learning the steps is important, but actually moving your limbs is what separates the champions from the amateurs.” He took Jesse by the shoulders and led him to the middle of the room.

“Or, in my case, the amateurs from the coma patients.” Jesse said as he trudged along reluctantly.

Andrew chuckled. “Although your recitation was lovely, you’re going to have to actually _move_ at some point in order for all this to work.”

“Couldn’t I just draw a diagram demonstrating the proper foot placement?” Jesse asked hopefully. "I think the kids would really respond to that. Visual aids. They're the next Facebook, I'm sure of it."

Andrew shook his head. “Don’t be afraid to make a mistake. I swear, I don’t bite.”

As it turned out, Andrew was a very hands-on director. Sometimes Jesse found himself fouling up the moves on purpose just to encourage his correction.

“You have to shift your weight to the back of your left leg. This is your left leg, yes?” Andrew asked, dropping to his knees as he gently patted the back of Jesse’s left calf.

“Yes. It has been. All my life.” Jesse deadpanned. He remained perfectly still, trying to process why Andrew’s hand was lingering on his calf for so long. He looked down at Andrew who seemed to have read his mind. He quickly withdrew his hand and then stood up. He folded his arms and waited for Jesse to move.

I think I’m getting it now.” Jesse said. He squinted, stretched out his hands, and then proceeded to shift his weight...to his _right_ leg.

This time the mistake had not been deliberate.

Andrew pretended to groan in frustration.

“You say that it’s been your left leg your _entire_ life?”

“Well,” Jesse began sheepishly. “There was a short period of time when he studied abroad and tried to ‘find himself’ in Europe. Honestly though, I think he just went to party without me. We weren’t so close after that.”

“You’re saying that your appendage went to study abroad, without you, in Europe?”

“Yes.” Jesse said with stern expression. “More of my appendages would have gone too, but we couldn’t afford it. It would have cost an arm and a leg, at least.”

Andrew sputtered with laughter.

“It would have been a farewell to arms?” Jesse asked, raising his eyebrows. He was rewarded with more laughter coming from an incapacitated Andrew.

“Can’t I just tell bad jokes and make vague literary allusions for my portion of the dance sequence?” Jesse asked.

Andrew coughed, chortled, and then shook his head. He moved in close to Jesse, bent his head down, and whispered gently in his ear.

“ _No_.”

The warmth of the gesture, both literal and figurative, overwhelmed Jesse, and it took all of his willpower to keep his knees from buckling beneath him. Andrew just smiled and bent down to pat Jesse’s left leg once more.

“Why don’t we try this again, yes? From the top?”


	2. Second Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Jesse gives the sex-ed class, and Andrew reveals a secret.

“Does anyone else think it’s a little weird that the school guidance counselor is coming to a Glee club meeting?” Santana asked, directing the question to no one in particular.

“Mr. Eisenberg is a really nice guy.” Quinn said, turning around in her seat. “I’m sure if he’s coming, it’s for a good reason.”

Everyone was anxious about Mr. Eisenberg’s guest appearance at the club meeting. They had gathered into the choir room a little earlier than usual in order to compare notes. Although nobody knew anything useful, there was still plenty of speculation as to what was going on. Finn looked the most worried out of the bunch.

“Do you think he thinks that Mr. Garfield thinks that we all need, like, counseling or something?”

“Finn, would you untwist your panties for five freakin’ minutes?” Puck spat. “If anyone’s getting a lecture, it’s me. I’ve skipped out on two sessions that Figgins told me to schedule with Mr. Eisenberg. And now, thanks to Mr. Garfield, he knows where I go to sing and dance after a hard day of juvenile delinquency. He’s here to throw down. That’s the only possible explanation.”

Rachel tried to console Finn by talking about herself.

“Maybe Mr. Garfield told him about my performances! He raved about them so much that Mr. Eisenberg finally decided that he just HAD to stop by and see them for himself. He strikes me as an introspective, cultured person of the world. Sensitive. Intelligent. Artistic…”

“Homosexual…” Kurt offered, chiming in from the far left side of the room.

“For someone who doesn’t like to be prejudged, we’re putting an awful lot of stock into stereotypes, aren’t we Kurt?” Mercedes asked.

Kurt huffed in response.

“None of you were here yesterday when I came in to practice. I am telling you that they were practically all over each other.”

“What were they doing?” Tina asked, her curiosity piqued.

“Maybe something having to do with today’s meeting?” Mike suggested.

“Mr. Garfield said something about Coach Sylvester’s health class. I didn’t catch anything else. They shooed me away and said I would have to practice in the auditorium. _But get_ _this_! When I walked in, Mr. Eisenberg and Mr. Garfield were sitting... _together_ \- on the piano bench.”

“Scandalous.” Quinn clipped. “Have you questioned the piano yet?”

“Kurt! What are you saying? That Mr. Garfield is gay?” Rachel asked, obviously taking a personal interest in the debate.

“If the Prada fits,” Kurt answered with a swish of his gray scarf. “Rachel, please! Let us not do this again. It’s painfully obvious that Mr. Garfield is gay.” Kurt held out his hand and began counting off the reasons.

“First, he’s too fashion-forward. Second, he knows every showtune in the gay songbook by heart even though he’s a _Spanish_ teacher. And third: His HAIR. My God. His hair!”

“Kurt!” Rachel protested.

“Rachel, c’mon. His _haaaair_.”

Rachel groaned.

“It’s true. He does have good hair.”

“Not just good hair. _Great_ hair. It is impossible for straight guys to have hair like that every day!”

“Kurtsie, that ‘do is nothing new,” Santana said with her arms folded across her chest. “I see straight celebrity guys wear their hair like that on the red carpet all the time.”

“Because they have hair stylists at their beck and call, Santana!” Kurt said, rolling his eyes. “Besides, if the aesthetics weren’t enough, that little after school tryst with Mr. Eisenberg was definitely the last bit of evidence I needed to confirm my suspicions.”

“I remember watching a movie about The Eisenberg in history class,” Brittany announced. “Do you think his grandfather built it or something?”

“Brit, what are you _talking_ about?” Santana frowned.

“The Eisenberg. It was, like, this big hot air balloon that exploded and then everybody died and that one guy was all like: “Ohhhhh, the manatees!”

Puck looked disgusted. Everyone else seemed to be giving the premise genuine consideration, as if it were a curious riddle that just needed solving. Santana finally stumbled upon the answer.

“Brit, sweetie, you’re thinking about the Hindenburg.”

“Well, either way…can you imagine what it must have been like for all those poor manatees?”

Santana opened her mouth to say something, but Mr. Garfield and Mr. Eisenberg walked in so she just patted Brittany’s hand gently instead.

“Hello, everyone! Thanks so much for coming. We have a special guest with us today. For those of you who have not had the privilege of meeting him yet, I would like to introduce the school’s new guidance counselor, Mr. Eisenberg.” Andrew motioned for Jesse to come stand by him. The kids clapped modestly.

“Thank you, Mr. Garfield,” Jesse said. He was barely able to get out the words. He could feel his mouth going dry.

Why had he agreed to do this? He was so much better with one-on-ones…

“If you haven’t had to make an appointment with me yet, that's certainly not a bad thing, but I did want to express that my office is open for all of you, anytime at all. There’s no problem too big or too small for us to sit and _jam_ about. Or if you just need someone to listen, I’m here for that too. We all, uh, we all need that…sometimes.”

Puck coughed loudly, and that served as suitable punctuation for Mr. Garfield.

“Right, so Mr. Eisenberg is here because of something Coach Sylvester told us over lunch the other day….”

Andrew explained the lunchroom encounter in the most objective, professional way possible, even going so far as to suggest that Sue was “genuinely concerned” about the Glee Club’s performance in her class and that she hoped Mr. Eisenberg could help them “enhance their study time and make it more productive.” They had decided, together, that antagonizing Sue would only make the children feel powerless in her grasp. It was better to pretend as though she wished them well so that all the motivation the kids experienced would be positive.

“And so,” Andrew said. “Mr. Eisenberg was thoughtful enough to prepare a helpful lecture about sexual education so you can pass Coach Sylvester’s next big quiz. But before he begins, we actually have a surprise in store for you. A little _mood music_ , if you will…”

“Is it cheese?” Brittany asked, raising her hand in excitement.

“Brittany, he just said it was _music_!” Rachel corrected.

“He said it was a _suprise_ , Rachel. If he lied and then gave us cheese instead, I think that would be a pretty big surprise.”

Rachel looked flabbergasted. She tried to formulate a rebuttal, but failed.

“Yes, well, it’s not cheese, but I assure you…” Andrew said with a smile as he glided over to the boombox that sat atop the piano. “It’s _so_ much better than cheese!”

“I’ll be the judge of that.” Brittany said as she leaned back in her chair to take the performance in.

Andrew pressed play.

“[ _Let’s talk about sex, ba-by. Let’s talk about you-and-me_ ,](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzfo4txaQJA&feature=player_embedded)” Andrew sang as he danced over to Jesse, pumping his arms up and down.

“ _Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that can be._ ” Jesse sang as he turned to face the club rather than continue to look at Andrew and risk arousal. “ _Let’s talk about sex. Let’s talk about sex._ ”

“ ** _Let’s talk about sex!_** ” They shouted in unison.

“ _Let’s talk about sex for now, to the people at home or in the crowd. It keeps coming up anyhow._ ” Andrew rapped as he pointed to the glee club members.

“ _Don’t be coy, avoid, or make void the topic_ -” Jesse shook his finger. He wasn’t able to muster quite the same animation that he had exhibited the day before when he and Andrew were alone.

“ _Cause that ain’t gonna stop it!_ ” Andrew interjected. He took hold of Jesse’s shoulders and began to dance with him, jerking him around slightly to compensate for his Jesse’s inconvenient choreographical amnesia.

Andrew's closeness helped Jesse forget about the Glee club's judging eyes, and once his confidence returned, Andrew disengaged his puppeteer act. By focusing on Andrew (instead of his nerves) Jesse managed to pull off his best performance yet.

***

The entire club stood up to applaud Jesse and Andrew’s concerted effort. Kurt seemed slightly miffed, but he still clapped along with the others.

“Okay, wow, well,…” Jesse said, catching his breath. “Now that my dignity has sufficiently been compromised by my rapping and dancing, I’d like to move on to my lecture. Oh! But, um, before we do that, I wanted to have a special Q&A session. Mr. Garfield, do you mind?”

Jesse gestured to a stack of paper slips and pens on the piano.

“I want you guys to ask me any questions that you might have about sex. They can be about anything at all, however, there’s one stipulation. You need to write your questions down on pieces of paper and put them into this jar.”

Andrew quickly took the materials into his hands and began passing them out to the Glee Club.

“I’m having you write your questions down to preserve your anonymity, so don’t include your names. If you’re feeling unsure or curious about something, please just ask about it. This is a safe, sensitive environment. No one will be judging anyone else's words or actions. If all of you are honest and open with me, then I promise to be open and honest with you.”

The kids thought for a moment and then scribbled down their questions. Andrew passed the jar around and everyone deposited their slips. Sam handed the jar back to Andrew, who promptly began to stir the slips around with his hands.

“How about this, eh?” Andrew asked with his hands in the jar. “It’s just like picking lottery numbers.”

Everyone buckled with laughter, Jesse included. He marveled at how easygoing Andrew was with the kids. Everything “Mr. Garfield” said was funny, charming, or brilliant. He wished he had that same confidence.

Jesse pulled out a slip from the jar, and read it out loud.

“ _I don’t plan on having sex for a very long time, but I’m worried about what will happen to me if I don’t. Is having sex like using a muscle? If you’re a guy and you don’t “use it,” can you “lose it_ ”?” Jesse nodded to himself as he formulated an answer in his head.

“This is a good question. Physiologically, genitals are not strictly muscles. The penis, for example, is actually made up of highly vascularized tissue that expands by filling up with blood. It’s not a muscle that you can build up or that can atrophy with disuse. I don’t believe there are any studies done that show that the absence of sexual activity will make having sex harder later down the road, but there are, uh, other ways of, um, “testing the plumbing” if that is something you’re really concerned about. You get me?”

A couple of the guys stifled snickers.

“All right! Great start. Let’s try another one then.” Jesse said as he reached out and pulled out a new slip. He read it out loud.

“ _I think I like guys and girls. Does that make me a slut? I read that I may be bipartisan._ ”

Jesse turned the paper over in his hands and squinted at the handwriting. Meanwhile, Santana looked downward and began rubbing the bridge of her nose with her fingers. She let out a soft sigh.

“And then, it looks like the person drew a series of hearts, stars, four-leaf clovers, and horseshoes. I guess the author was going for a “Lucky Charms” theme?”

“I have an idea who the writer is. Trust me, the person is asking a legitimate question. Well, trying to ask a legitimate question.” Andrew said, assuring Jesse that it wasn’t some kind of prank.

“Oh! Okay. Gotcha. Well, personally, I subscribe to the Kinsey model of sexuality. Alfred Kinsey was a man who studied human sexuality in the late 1940’s and early 1950’s. His findings suggested that sexual orientation actually falls along a spectrum. People on one end of the spectrum identify as exclusively heterosexual. People, on the opposite end of the spectrum, identify as exclusively homosexual. And some people, Kinsey discovered, actually fall somewhere within that range so that they may be primarily attracted to one gender, but occasionally, with varying degree, they may be attracted to the other gender.”

“Liking both genders doesn’t make you a deviant. It just means that you’re different. Unfortunately, a lot of people harbor suspicions about individuals who don’t fall exclusively onto one side of the sexual spectrum. They say hurtful things, like that those people are selfish, or promiscuous, or that they just don’t know what they really want in a partner. But none of that is true. There’s nothing shameful about it, and if anyone out there would like to talk about this topic in more detail, privately, again, my office is always open. ”

Several of the Glee kids nodded, affirming that they understood. Some shifted in their seats. Santana looked over at Brittany and noticed that she wore a subdued smile.

Andrew nodded vigorously, obviously impressed by the answer, which Jesse took as his cue to continue. He quickly fished out another question from the jar, unfolded it, and read it out loud before he even got a chance to process it.

“ _Are you gay?_ ”

Tina let out a tiny gasp. Since the room had become unnaturally quiet, it sounded embarrassingly loud. She quickly covered her mouth with her right hand. Quinn shook her head angrily, bit her lip, and tried not to look back at Kurt. Kurt, meanwhile, inhaled and tried to keep his best pokerface on.

Jesse stared at the words, which somehow became a series of indecipherable hieroglyphics the longer he looked at them. He glanced up briefly toward the Glee kids, and then back down at the slip, as if it might somehow possess an answer to this insane, curve ball of a question.

A billion issues raced through Jesse’s mind in milliseconds. He was new here and already edging protocol by having an informal sex and health tutoring session. How stupid could he have been? Why didn't he ask them to submit permission slips? What if their parents asked him to leave the school? What if Andrew asked him to leave? What if Andrew-well, what if his peers started treating him differently? He was new enough that any information that leaked out would surely spread like wildfire just by sheer novelty. And God, what about that crazy Sue Sylvester woman? If she ever caught wind of this…

Hardly any time passed by, but it still felt like an eternity. Finally, Jesse got up the courage to speak.

“Wow. Well, in your defense I did say _anything_ related to sex, so I guess you guys really took that literally, huh?” Jesse let out a nervous chuckle. He rubbed his hands together briefly and then shook them apart from each other. He folded the paper up carefully into his right hand, which trembled slightly.

“Still, I wasn’t expecting this one. It’s kind of a personal question…” Jesse started. But Andrew interrupted him before he could continue.

“Kids, that was **not** fair! Mr. Eisenberg is not some sort of gossipy celebrity who is here to amuse you. He is here to help you learn so that you don’t fail your class and screw up everything this club has worked so hard for since the beginning. Is this **seriously** how you show your appreciation? I am really disappointed in whoever did this. That’s it. We’re through. He’s not going to answer any questions related to his own personal business. We’re moving on to the lecture...”

“Andrew, no. Really. It’s okay. Don’t be mad at them.”

Andrew edged toward Jesse and turned so that his back was to the Glee kids.

“ _Jess, you don’t have to do this._ ” He whispered gently.

Jesse took a moment to savor his name being shortened into an affectionate diminutive. With a deep breath, he stepped forward and turned away from Andrew so as to directly address his audience.

“When I told all of you that having an unconventional sexual orientation was nothing to be ashamed of, I meant it. When I told you that people might say hurtful things about you just because you’re different, I wasn’t pontificating. I was speaking from personal experience. I don’t think I could take myself or what I say as a counselor seriously if I refused to answer a basic question that everyone should have the right to answer without fear of reproach. I promised that you could be honest with me because I would be honest with you. You’ve done that by asking me all of these personal questions, so I will return that favor in kind with a personal answer…”

“I am gay.” Jesse said, throwing his hands out and then dropping them by his side.

“Are there any questions, comments, or concerns?”

The group was silent once more. Brittany tilted her head and raised her hand.

“Yes, young lady in the back?”

Brittany stood up amongst the crowd as if she were attending a press conference. She let out a gentle cough to clear her throat.

“I think that my cat might be gay,” she announced.

The entire Glee club emitted a series of groans and exhalations of frustration. Andrew covered his face with his hands, embarrassed to have Jesse's revelation underscored by such an absurd proclamation.

Jesse just tried his best to supress his laughter.

He had felt _so_ tense before his answer, but all that tension seemed to vanish once Brittany spoke her piece. If this was the _worst_ reaction Jesse was due to receive after his outing, then he felt he had done pretty good job of handling such an awkward situation.

“We have something in common then, I love cats! What’s your cat’s name?”

“Lord Tubbington.”

“And why do you think Lord Tubbington might be gay?”

“Sometimes I catch him watching Lifetime, Television for Women. And he’s a boy cat.”

“And how would it make you feel if you found out that your cat were gay?”

“Sad. But only because I wouldn’t want the other cats in the neighborhood to make fun of him if he is gay. And I don’t know anything about gay cat sex, so I can’t...I can't talk to him about it." Brittany's forehead began to crease with concern.

"I love Lord Tubbington no matter what, but I just want him to be safe, and happy, and careful. It's a tough world out there for a cat...who's different.”

“Wow,” Jesse nodded. “This is really giving me flashbacks to the coming out conversation I had with my mother.”

The entire class laughed. Everyone in the room did except for Andrew. He was in shock; completely thrown by Jesse’s nonchalance.

“Young lady, what is your name?”

“Brittany.”

“Brittany, Lord Tubbington will be perfectly fine as long as you love him and feed him and support him. The other cats won't make fun of him. I promise."

Jesse walked back to the piano and stood next to Andrew.

"Tonight's lecture is going to focus on human sexuality, anatomy, and safety, but if you stop by my office this week, I would be more than happy to help you with any additional questions you might have about your cat. To the best of my ability, that is.”

“Thank you, Mr. Hindenburg!” Brittany said with a smile as she sat back down.

Jesse twisted his head sideways and looked momentarily confused by how Brittany had addressed him, but he brushed it off. He beckoned Andrew to come closer to him with the jar of slips.

“Two more questions and then we absolutely have to get to my lecture,” Jesse said as he reached into the jar. The class collectively booed the decision.

“Guys! Mr. Eisenberg is right,” Andrew chastised. “We have to keep moving forward.”

Jesse smiled at Andrew, who gave him another look of intense admiration. More than just that though. There was awe shining through as well. Andrew looked at Jesse as if he had just walked away from a train wreck or a survived a hit from speeding bullet.

Andrew looked at Jesse as if he were...Superman.

***

The Glee club filed out of the music room slowly that evening. Everyone wanted a chance to thank Jesse personally for all the assistance he had provided. Even Puck stopped to offer his thanks, and to schedule a make-up appointment for the next day.

“Two ‘o clock, then?” Puck asked.

“Fine by me,” Jesse said. “Wait a second. Is that a free period for you, or do you have class?”

Puck groaned and looked skyward.

“How did you guess?”

“I was in high school once too, Mr. Puckerman.”

“Fine,” he paused thoughtfully. “I should be free at one. I have Physics at two.”

“Terrific. See you then.”

Puck moved to shake Jesse’s hand, but instead it evolved into something of a one-handed, bro-hug with a quick pat on the back. Jesse was taken by surprise, but managed to pull it off without looking too awkward.

Quinn and Sam were the last students in line to thank Jesse. Sam reached out to shake Jesse’s hand. Quinn opted to throw her arms around Jesse for a quick hug instead.

“Thank you again for everything, Mr. Eisenberg. I didn’t get a chance to tell you, but after I saw you on Monday, I immediately started to feel so much better.”

“That’s good to hear, Quinn. I’m happy for you.”

Andrew spoke up from the sidelines. “Sam? Did you need a ride? Everyone else said that they were carpooling or had a parent coming...”

Sam shook his head. “Oh! No thanks, Mr. Garfield. Quinn’s got me. We’re going to the park to practice our number for Friday’s assembly before it gets dark.”

Quinn moved next to Sam and the both of them waved goodbye as they walked out together. Andrew shared a raised eyebrow with Jesse, who responded with a smirk and an approving nod. The two giggled. Andrew moved in a little closer.

“You were _amazing_ in there. I mean, I’m so sorry for interrupting you like I did, but I had no idea that-“ Andrew stopped when he noticed Jesse looking downward, tapping his lips with his hand. Andrew looked around and saw Kurt lingering in the back of the room, taking an agonizingly long time to pack his book bag.

“Kurt? Is everything all right?!” Andrew asked.

“Kurt? Was the lecture helpful?” Jesse asked, a bit more gently.

Kurt gathered his belongings and then moved toward the two men.

“Mr. Eisenberg, I-I just wanted to apologize to you.”

“Mr. Garfield,” Jesse said, as he turned to Andrew. “Would you mind stepping outside for a moment so Kurt and I could speak privately?” He had already intuited what Kurt was about to confess.

“No,” Kurt interrupted. “I want to say this in front of Mr. Garfield. I owe him an apology too. You see, I’m the one who asked if you were gay during the Q&A session.”

“ **Kurt**!” Andrew shouted a little louder than he had intended. “Why would you do something like that?”

Kurt looked crestfallen. “I don’t know why I did it! I guess I was just…. I mean, I saw the two of you together and I-wanted to know and then I wrote it down, but I couldn’t take it back without causing a scene, and then I thought statistically maybe we wouldn't even _get_ to it, and then…we did. And then, and then…” Kurt’s voiced died down to nothing.

Andrew shook his head. His face was riddled with disappointment.

“I can’t believe you would try to trap somebody like this, Kurt. After everything you’ve been through at this school, how could you do this to another person?”

“Andrew-er, Mr. Garfield, please calm down. It’s okay.” Jesse said. He turned to face Kurt.

“Kurt, I’m not mad at you. Truly, I’m not. I must admit that I wasn’t _planning_ to make any major sexual revelations about myself to your peers tonight, but, all things considered, I think everything went about as well as could be expected. Don’t you?”

Kurt nodded. “It’s just…I’m just so sorry for what I did to you. I don’t even know why I did it.”

“Oh, I have some hypotheses that we can run through sometime, “Jesse said as he patted Kurt’s shoulder. “Why don’t you stop by my office on Friday? Early Friday, if you can make it. We’ll talk about all this in more detail.”

Kurt smiled weakly. “Definitely, Mr. Eisenberg. I’ll be there with bells on…but only if my color scheme allows for metallic accents.” Kurt moved to the door and waved goodnight to Andrew and Jesse. Once Kurt left, Andrew let out an angry sigh of relief.

“Can you believe that?” Andrew said, shaking his head. “Why on earth would Kurt have done something like that?”

“Andrew,” Jesse began. “Isn’t it a little obvious?”

“What do you mean?”

“ _Think about it_.”

***

“I am so mad at Kurt right now,” Quinn said as she brandished her hot dog. She and Sam were walking around the park watching the last bits of daylight give way to darkness.

“Why?” Sam asked with a mouthful of food. He was struggling to eat and carry his guitar case at the same time.

“Isn’t it obvious? He was the one who wrote down that question and embarrassed Mr. Eisenberg in front of everyone!”

“Well, it’s not so obvious to me.” Sam replied and then swallowed. “Plus, it seems kind of lame for you to blame the gay guy for asking the gay question.”

“He would not shut up about Mr. Eisenberg and Mr. Garfield before they arrived. Isn’t that reason enough to believe it was him?”

“Technically, it still could have been anyone.”

“Unlikely, if you ask me.”

“Don’t you care about our justice system? Innocent until proven guilty, or whatever? Besides, why would Kurt have done something like that?”

Quinn crossed her arms. “Who knows? It was a completely awful thing to do if he did it. I don’t know why he keeps on insisting that everyone is gay.”

Sam shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe it’s just hard for him to be the only gay guy he knows at school.”

Quinn stopped moving forward.

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe he’s just _lonely._  You know? He sees what he wants to see to make himself feel better. I’ve done that before. Haven’t you?”

Quinn nodded and then looked down.

She touched her face quickly, making sure her tears stayed firmly in her eyes this time.

“Yeah. Yeah... I guess I’ve done that too.”

“I’m _glad_ that Mr. Eisenberg is gay. Maybe Kurt will be more comfortable now that he knows an older gay guy. He’s like, like a padawan learner with a gay Jedi master now. Ready to learn the ways of the gay force.”

“Pada-what?”

“Padawan learner? They’re, like, Jedi apprentices?”

Quinn looked even more confused than before.

“Jedi? Sith? R2-D2? Ewok? Do you not speak _any_ Star Wars at all?”

Quinn shook her head. “I think I saw that one movie with the cute guy who has the pointy ears.”

“Okay, first of all, he’s not a cute guy with pointy ears. He’s a Vulcan played by badass actor Zachary Quinto. Secondly, that’s not Star Wars. That’s Star Trek you’re talking about.”

“Were you enrolled in some sort of advanced placement nerd class back at your old school?”

Sam scoffed. Quinn giggled.

“I’m just kidding! If you were to reference “Veronica Mars” or maybe even “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” I would probably catch it, but I guess I just don’t speak geek as fluently as you do.”

Sam put his guitar down nearby on a park bench and turned to face Quinn directly.

“Quinn? What exactly is it that we’re doing here?”

***

Andrew puzzled over the situation for a moment and then shook his head.

“I’m lost. Would you mind connecting those dots for me? Is it a tiger? The Eiffel Tower? I still can’t tell…” Andrew said as he walked over to the piano to pick up his satchel.

Jesse sighed loudly as he moved to gather the leftover study materials.

“Kurt obviously has a crush on you and, most likely, he saw me as romantic competition.”

“That’s _ridiculous_! Why would Kurt have thought something like that?”

Jesse was leaning over to pick up a pencil, but bolted upright upon hearing the question.

“Well,” Jesse began carefully. “I guess he saw us yesterday. You know, when we were working together...so closely?”

He felt as though he was treading on dangerous waters now. Could it be that Jesse had completely misunderstood Andrew’s intentions this whole time?

Andrew shook his head. “I will never miss being a teenager. They always see the world on high contrast. I can’t believe a mature kid like Kurt would have jumped to that kind of conclusion.”

Jesse was still packing his materials but now, like Kurt, he was lingering. His speed was impacted significantly ever since Andrew started emphasizing how incredible it was that the two of them could have ever been perceived as an item. Jesse decided to test the water some more.

“And then there was all that sexy dancing you did while you jerked my body around like a marionette. I can understand how something like that might be misconstrued. By…somebody else.”

“Sorry about that,” Andrew said blithely as he slung his satchel over his shoulder. “I’m something of a control freak when it comes to my performances. I hope I didn’t rough you up too much!” Andrew punctuated the remark with a playful punch on Jesse’s shoulder.

 _Bro-punches?_ Jesse was really getting worried now...

“And, of course, there’s the fact that we were singing a song about sex, together. Let’s not let _that_ little detail go by. A song that constantly references sex. Sung by us. Two men. Singing about sex. _Together_. It’s not quite so ludicrous when you look at it that way.”

“We were singing a song about sexual _discourse_!” Andrew corrected. “Sexual awareness and sexual intercourse are NOT the same thing. I was really hoping that message was going to come through loud and clear for the kids.”

“Yes,” Jesse agreed angrily. “It is so annoying when our intentions become misinterpreted.”

Andrew’s ears perked up upon hearing Jesse’s unusual, sarcastic tone. They both headed toward the door. Jesse sped ahead of him. Andrew turned around to turn off the lights and then joined Jesse in the darkened hallway.

“Is everything all right with you?” Andrew asked, his question gently echoing into the empty corridor.

“Of course,” Jesse answered. His nerve was dying quickly. “I mean, it’s just....I guess maybe I was under a certain impression about this evening and, now, well, now I don’t know what to think anymore.”

Andrew squinted in the darkness.

“You mean about how things are going to work out now that the kids know about you?”

Jesse sighed. He decided to give up and shift gears completely to save face.

“Yeah. I guess I’m just worried. I work very hard to keep my professional life removed from my personal life. Now that all these kids know something so intimate about me, well, I just hope it doesn’t undermine my authority somehow.”

Andrew scoffed at the thought. “Your authority was positively _reinforced_ by coming out to those kids. They know that you don’t mess around, and more to the point, I think they really feel like they can trust you. Don’t worry! If anything, I think it will pay off further down the line.”

Jesse didn’t reply, but he smiled in Andrew’s direction when he looked over to gauge a reaction.

***

“I don’t know, Sam…” Quinn asked as she sat on the park bench and crossed her legs. “What do you think this is?”

“It certainly seems like we’re on a date. I mean, all the elements are here.” Sam replied, sitting down next to Quinn with his guitar in hand.

“Romantic lighting.” He said looking skyward.

“Dinner.” He said, gesturing to their half-eaten hot dogs.

“Music.” He finished with a grin as he strummed his guitar.

“All of this is just for Friday’s assembly.” Quinn replied curtly. “Mr. Garfield is trusting us to have a killer opener for the show. If we don’t get some extra practice in, we’re going to suck and then The Glee Club will be even lower on the social totem pole than it was last year.”

Sam began strumming his guitar again.

“Well, in that case, I guess we’d better get started.”

***

All too quickly, the long path they took down the darkened hallway ended and Jesse found himself stuck near the school's entrance, chatting with Andrew about Friday’s assembly.

For a reasons not entirely clear to either, they were suddenly uncomfortable with each other. The problem was that neither of them knew how to end the interaction gracefully. Their conversation was like a coma patient that lay before them with no last will or testament.

An awkward silence settled over the two. Andrew was the one who finally broke it this time.

“I’m so sorry that something crazy always seems to happen to you when the two of us are together.”

Jesse was surprised by how concerned Andrew looked. He didn’t want the night to end on a somber note, so he punched up the humor of the response he had prepared. He wasn’t sure if his performance would be convincing given his disappointment, but he soldiered on.

“Oh, please! Don’t be.” Jesse said. “Tonight was a goldmine. I’m booked solid for the rest of the week with appointments.”

“Really?” Andrew asked with a weak smile.

“Yeah! I mean, where do I start? A girl with a cat who might be gay, a hardened rebel with a soft, nougat-ey interior, and a young man with repressed romantic feelings toward his teacher. That’s job security right there, Andrew. You--you just keep those troubled children coming.”

Andrew laughed heartily. Jesse’s shoulders relaxed.

He had bought it.

“Well, it’s a great comfort to know that they’ll all be in such capable hands.” Andrew paused and bit his bottom lip, severity settling on his face again. 

“You were very brave tonight.”

Jesse nodded slowly, and shifted his bag on his shoulder. “Thank you.”

He tried not to look Andrew in the eyes. He tried to steel his face so as to appear stoic or aloof...

He failed on both counts.

***

“[ _Fall is here. Hear the yell. Back to school Ring the bell._](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKfD8d3XJok)” Sam started.

“ _Brand new shoes. Walking blues. Climb the fence. Books and pens._ ” Quinn continued.

“ _I can tell that we are going to be friends._ ” Sam sang.

“ _I can tell that we are going to be friends._ ” They sang together.

***

In the swiftest of motions, Andrew leaned in and hugged Jesse tightly. Jesse was shocked at first and forgot what to do with his hands. Slowly, he brought them up to grab Andrew’s around his shoulders so that he could reciprocate the gesture.

Andrew tightened his grip. Jesse did the same.

" _Why is Andrew making this so hard for me?_ " Jesse asked himself mid-hug.

And then, suddenly, something unexpected happened.

Andrew released Jesse momentarily, but then dipped his head back down next to Jesse’s ear so that they were nearly cheek to cheek.

“Tonight, you shared something very special about yourself with my kids. Something that I’ve only ever dreamed about sharing with them.” Andrew whispered.

As Andrew withdrew his head, Jesse had the sense of mind to close his mouth, but his eyes still looked shocked. Andrew smiled at him and then left the scene as quickly as he could without looking too conspicuous.

“Goodnight!” Jesse shouted to Andrew, who was fast becoming a speck in the distance.

“See you tomorrow!” Andrew shouted from afar with a happy wave.

And Jesse remained standing there, in the front of the school, letting that familiar tune wash over his body. When his memory of the lyrics started to kick in, the irony was not lost on him.

***

“ _We don’t notice any time pass._ ” Quinn sang.

“ _We don’t notice anything._ ” Sam sang.

“ _We sit side by side in every class._ “ They sang together.

“ _Teacher thinks that I sound funny, but she likes the way you sing._ ” Sam smiled.

“ _Tonight I’ll dream, while I’m in bed, when silly thoughts go through my head._ ” Quinn continued.

“ _About the bugs and alphabet. And when I wake tomorrow I’ll bet._ ”

“ _That you and I will walk together again._ ”

“ _I can tell that we are gonna to be friends._ ”

“ _Yes, I can tell…that we are…gonna be friends_ ….”


	3. The Third Degree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Jesse learns more about Andrew than he bargained for, and Holly Holiday makes a special appearance!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my personal challenges when composing this fic was to use songs that Glee had not yet covered. For the record, I originally posted this story on Tumblr on July 13th, 2011. At that time, Glee had not used ABC in any of their performances. Still winning ;P

The next morning, during his first couple of appointments, Jesse could hardly sit still.

He had tried to find Andrew before classes started, but he had no such luck. He briefly considered popping out of his office to try and catch him between classes, but the rushing river of students roaring through the hallways made him feel awkward and exposed. More so than usual.

He didn’t want any potential interruptions when he did finally get a chance to talk to Andrew. Intimacy, he decided, must be preserved at all costs.

Jesse was feeing cautiously optimistic. It was thrilling to hear that he and Andrew played for the same team, but there was a definite downside to the ambiguous context of this revelation. He had no idea to what depth or degree Andrew was still in the closet. It could be that Andrew was on the cusp of understanding his sexuality; a late bloomer so to speak, with all the innocence and necessary baggage that such a status carries. It could be that Andrew was fully aware of his orientation and simply hadn’t been up front with anyone in his professional sphere until now. Now that he had someone in his life he could trust.

Someone like Jesse…

“But trust in what way?” Jesse thought to himself as he finished filing away some folders. Trusted like an ally? A scruffy gay mentor of sorts? A completely non-sexualized platonic, kindred spirit? The more Jesse thought about the nature of their relationship, the more confused he became.

Paperwork wasn’t helping. Neither was emailing or color-coding his appointment book. No task seemed capable of easing the itchy weight he felt upon his chest. Jesse looked around in desperation. He needed something to keep his hands occupied, lest he begin scratching at his office furniture like one of his many cats. He briefly glanced at his paper clips, neatly lined up inside the tiny tin box he used to store away his office bric-a-brac. He stared intently at the clips, picked up the tin, and then promptly poured the contents out onto the surface of his desk so that he could begin sorting them.

As he began re-stacking the clips, he continued to ponder, but further contemplation only worsened the matter. Maybe their relationship had nothing to do with last night at all. Maybe Andrew had only reached out to Jesse because he was a counselor. Last night wasn’t about attraction or kinship or interest, romantic or otherwise. Maybe last night was just…a cry for help.

“Maybe he’s really in _pain_ because of all this.” Jesse thought to himself.

Naturally, Jesse began to envision a horrible array of scenarios wherein Andrew was secretly depressed, withdrawn, and/or hurting. He pictured a world of strife poking behind that warm, Bambi smile. He imagined Andrew playing the piano, by himself, in the choir room, struggling to feel at ease when nothing about his life felt normal anymore.

Was it that inconceivable? Was it such a stretch? Andrew had seemed so desperate the night before. His voice had sounded so forlorn and so fragile when he made his confession….

Jesse pursed his lips.

The thought of Andrew suffering like that…no.

Just…no.

Whether or not Andrew thought of him fondly, Jesse still wanted to be supportive. He needed to be there for him.

He tried framing the impulse as duty to a friend, or the obligation of a counselor to the distraught...but he could not reduce his feelings to those meager proportions. It didn’t matter though. Not in the grand scheme of things.

Right now, his top priority was Andrew’s well being.

After he finished sorting his paper clips, Jesse finally resolved to do something before he lost his nerve. He rose up from his seat and made his way to Andrew’s classroom. He timed it so that the students would be filing out as he arrived.

Jesse glided past the outgoing children. He stuck his head into the room and discovered that Andrew was not at his desk. In his place was a woman wearing a black wig and a colorful folk dress. Jesse tilted his head and noticed that she seemed to be donning an artificial unibrow as well. Jesse flinched slightly when the woman (and her tremendous brow) turned to regard him, but instead of glaring fiercely, she beckoned him in with a warm smile and urged him to come closer.

“Hello! You look a little lost. Can I help you?” The woman asked, rising from the desk.

“I’m sorry for intruding. I think I must…have…the wrong classroom,” Jesse said as he looked around the room in bewilderment.

“Were you looking for Mr. Garfield?”

Jesse hoped his face didn’t brighten too much.

“Yes! Yes, I am.”

“I’m sorry. He called in sick. They asked me to sub his Spanish classes for him.” The woman frowned at first, but then lightened her features in preparation for her cheerful introduction. “My name’s Holly, Holly Holiday.” Holly stretched out her hand to Jesse. Jesse happily shook it.

“Jesse Eisenberg. I’m the new guidance counselor.” Jesse eased up and felt he could a bit laugh now that he knew something of Andrew’s whereabouts.

“I couldn’t help but notice your….your costume.” Jesse said pointing to her huge unibrow.

“It…it is a costume, right?” He asked nervously.

Holly laughed. “Yes. Although I did go through an artsy phase in college when the idea of grooming felt so elitist and bourgeoisie that I didn’t bother to shave, pluck, or trim anything for a whole year. And let me tell you, this fake brow would have been no competition for the horrors that lay beneath my equator.”

Jesse snorted and then covered his mouth with his right hand.

“I’m sorry. I’ve done it again. It’s my first day back on the job and I’ve already managed to embarrass myself by making inappropriate comments to a co-worker.”

“Well, you could always blame the directness of your alter ego.”

“Be honest! Do you think I make for a decent Frida Kahlo?” Holly asked with a twirl of her skirt.

“Near perfection. I would just add some flowers in your hair and maybe a spider monkey on your shoulder. Just to really drive it home, you know?”

“He knows his art history! Very nice.” Holly said with a happy clap of her hands.

“It was my minor in college. Sort of became an amateur critic after that, or whatever’s below amateur…” Jesse shrugged. “Is all this uh, performance art of some kind?”

Holly nodded. "The class is learning about _artistas famosas de Latinoamerica_! I try to mix things up to tighten my hold on their gnat-like attention. Plus, the unibrow keeps the kids on red alert. They seem to regard it like a huge, unblinking third eye. Veeeery Lord of the Rings. Very intimidating.”

Jesse laughed. “How long are you subbing for Mr. Garfield?”

“Actually, I’m only here to take his morning classes. “ Holly smirked and leaned in to whisper. “My guess is that he went a-drinking last night and is now majorly hung over. You’d be surprised how often that happens in this line of work. I mean, to other teachers, of course.”

“Of course.”

“Of course, there was one particularly sticky situation wherein both teacher and substitute were unfit to sit up in front of a classroom, if you catch my drift.” Holly lifted her brow, suggesting that intrigue was afoot.

“Waking up on Andrew’s bathroom floor _as_ I got the call from Figgins requesting my substitution for Andrew, who was passed out in the kitchen... **Not** my proudest moment, I can tell you that much.”

“Oh…wow.” Jesse replied with a solemn nod of his head. His mind was short circuiting as it envisioned Andrew being so drunkenly intimate with this woman. He studied Holly’s face and tried to determine what the subtext of the evening had been, but he didn’t like the answers he found. The woman radiated wantonness and reckless abandon. If Andrew had been on the fence regarding his orientation, Jesse could certainly understand how Holly would have only complicated the matter. She was a little odd, but in a horrendously charming kind of way.

A lightbulb-worthy idea seemed to go off in Holly’s head. Her eyes brightened and she even held up her hand and extended her index finger, the same way a cartoon character might gesture to signify the act of inspiration.

“You know, you might want to check Andrew’s office. My guess is that since my allotted time is almost up, he’s likely over there knocking back the Visine, trying to shake all the red from his peepers before he has to face a classroom. At least, that’s what we did last time…”

“Yes. Well, I’ll-I'll have to give his office a try then,” Jesse said plainly. He was happy for the hint, but upset at the thought of Andrew and Holly collectively rinsing the debauchery from their eyes in the privacy of Andrew's office. He didn’t understand how he could feel so jealous. Why was all this so shocking? It was obvious that Andrew’s orientation was not cut and dry, and in any event, he certainly had no right to judge his sexual history, whatever it entailed.

He closed his eyes momentarily and a whole host of horrible possibilities immediately hatched inside Jesse’s head.

Jesse swallowed his heartsickness and fought to leave on a dignified note.

“Thank you very much for all your kind assistance, Ms. Holiday.” Jesse said as he began to notice a new group of kids filing back into the classroom.

“My pleasure, Mr. Eisenberg.” Holly said as she pretended to push up on her unibrow like a pair of glasses.

“ _Damn,_ ” Jesse thought to himself as he walked away. “ _Why did she have to be so cute_?”

***

Jesse kept replaying his conversation with Holly in his head as he walked down the hallway.

“I can’t compete with that.” He muttered to himself. “I’m a recreational cartographer who’s obsessed with cats and musicals. Why would he want to date me when he could go out with a woman who looks like the Swiss Miss girl, talks like Lorelei Gilmore, and dresses like Frida Kahlo?”

Once Jesse reached Andrew’s office, he was surprised to find the door slightly ajar. He took a deep breath, exhaled, placed his hand on the knob and opened it.

“I can’t believe you had to get a substi-“

Jesse’s words were cut off once he realized that he was addressing not Andrew, but a blonde woman who was sitting in Andrew’s chair. It quickly became apparent that the two of them had expected the other to be Andrew when the door opened.

Jesse tried to breach the topic of Andrew’s location, but the blonde woman was too quick for him. Although she remained seated, she somehow managed to stare him down as she addressed him.

“Who are you?”

“I’m so sorry for the intrusion, ma’am. I’m Jesse Eisenberg. I’m the new guidance counselor for the school.”

Jesse was getting so tired of that introduction. He briefly considered lying the next time he was asked to identify himself.

The blonde woman looked confused.

“Did you need to see my husband for something?”

Jesse could feel the floor crumble beneath him. His mission had already felt precarious from the start, but it was this innocent sounding question that completely threw him off his footing.

“I- I just wanted to ask him about the Guh-glee Club.” Jesse managed to sputter. “I’ve made appointments to speak with some of the members, and I have some questions that a faculty member, someone who interacts with the kids on a more regular basis, might be able to answer.”

He was surprised how convincingly he could lie when put on the spot, especially given the fact that he could no longer feel his legs.

“Oh.” The blonde woman said with a huff. She replied in such a way as to suggest that she was almost bored with Jesse’s answer. Fortunately, propriety finally kicked in and she rose from the chair to introduce herself to Jesse.

“I’m Terri Garfield. It’s nice to meet you. I have to apologize for startling you. My absent-minded Andrew forgot all about this homemade soup that I lovingly prepared for him from scratch. I came by hoping to catch him before the next period started up but…he’s not _here-errre_.”

Terri punctuated “here” with a sing song voice that instantly aggravated Jesse.

Jesse tightened his arms against his body, trying to hold onto himself for support. He glanced around the room and struggled to come up with a small talk-ish comment to lob back at her, like a softball. He looked over at Andrew’s desk and noticed that Terri’s soup was stored in a Tupperware container, not unlike the kind he owned.

He studied the color of the contents. The soup appeared to be cloudy, a murky green.

“Split pea?” Jesse asked with a nervous chuckle.

“Chicken noodle.” Terri replied, as she sat back down in Andrew’s chair with a delicate plop.

Jesse grimaced and said a little prayer for Andrew’s stomach. Perhaps this woman’s cooking was to blame for Andrew’s morning absence in the first place. Terri leaned back in Andrew’s seat while she fiddled with a pen on his desk.

“So…how do you know Andrew?”

She asked the question without bothering to make eye contact, and Jesse was immensely grateful for that display of rudeness. It made it easier for him to lie.

“I don’t really know him. I mean, I just know what the kids tell me, really. We might have talked briefly, for a moment, but I wouldn’t say that I know him. Not really. Not to any significant degree, that is.”

Despite the glaring omissions, the essence of his rambling response still felt true enough. Jesse didn’t think that he _did_ know Andrew anymore. Not after that conversation he had shared with Holly. Certainly not after the startling revelation he uncovered with Terri.

One thing did make more sense though: He better understood why Andrew had been so clandestine about his sexual identity, and why their interactions, while pleasant, had also always been occasionally awkward. Whereas Jesse felt he was definitively on one side of the Kinsey scale, it was now painfully clear that Andrew was somewhat closer to the middle of that spectrum.

At least by comparison, that is.

Terri stared at Jesse until he became beet red. He decided to abandon ship before he started to break out in hives or a cold sweat .

“I really better get going. I’m-I’m late for an appointment.”

Jesse turned to leave the room, but was interrupted by another guest. He could hear the screaming coming from all the way down the hall. He closed his eyes and cursed his luck once he recognized the voice.

“Garfield! Your little street urchins cheated! There’s no way that they all could have pa-” Sue ripped open the door from Jesse’s grasp. He froze and hoped the Sue might not see Terri, but it was too late. Once she laid her eyes on Terri, Sue’s demeanor instantly calmed. In a blink of her serpentine eyes, she somehow managed to piece together exactly what had transpired between the two.

In even less time, she formulated a plan of attack.

Jesse studied her face and saw that she was practically salivating now, like a true predator.

Sue smiled at Jesse and then addressed Terri.

“Terr! Good to see you again. Have you meet Mr. Eisenberg?” Sue asked as she slapped Jesse on the back and held onto him tightly to prevent any possible escape.

“He’s the new guidance counselor that they hired to help all the crybabies with their feelings.”

Terri glanced at Jesse briefly.

“We’ve met.”

“So what brings you to these parts?”

“I just brought over some soup for Andrew. He hasn’t been feeling well lately.”

“What a funny coincidence! I’m sure Jesse is here to have lunch with Andrew right now. Your timing is impeccable, really.”

Now that the trap was set, Sue happily released Jesse from her pinchers.

Terri looked puzzled. Jesse shook his head and tried to answer calmly.

“No, no, Sue. I just stopped by to ask Mr. Garfield about some of the Glee club members.”

“Oh really?” Sue asked, almost bellowing. “Did you already have plans for lunch? I mean you sure seemed to be having a great time eating together on Tuesday. You two fellas were as thick as thieves the last time I saw you.”

Terri tilted her head sideways. Her mind was obviously trying to reconcile this new information.

“Or maybe you wanted to arrange another impromptu study session with the Glee kids? You know, like the one you had last night? The kids told me aaaaall about it when I detained them for questioning after our class. You’ll be happy to know that it worked like a charm! Given all the late hours of generous, unpaid overtime that you and Andrew put in together, well…it’s no surprise that those little goblins finally managed pass one of my pop quizzes. Your efforts should be applauded. The both of you. _Together_.”

Jesse felt dizzy with despair.

“Well, I mean, I lent him a hand but-but Andrew was the one who really-“

“You said that you didn’t really know him.” Terri interrupted. “You said you didn’t know him very well at all.”

Sue pretended to be shocked. “You DID? But, Jesse! Why would you act as though you didn’t know Andrew? It’s obvious that the two of you make such a great team together...”

Jesse’s gaze shifted between Sue and Terri. He had no idea how he could possibly disentangle himself from this situation. Sue walked over to Andrew’s desk and joined Terri so that the both of them could double their glaring power.

“ _Honesty worked for me yesterday,_ ” Jesse thought to himself. “ _Maybe it’ll work here as well?_ ”

He sighed deeply, and embraced the absurdity of the situation.

“Terri, I apologize for my deception. I lied about knowing Andrew earlier because…because I wasn’t expecting to see you here, today.”

Terri looked confused. Sue leaned back against the wall, drinking in Jesse’s discomfort like a true sadist.

“Last night, while we were helping the Glee Club study, Andrew seemed preoccupied about something. I don’t know what, exactly, I just felt as though something might be wrong. I wanted to come by today to ask him if he needed someone to talk to, in confidence. I didn’t want to trouble you in case I was misunderstanding his situation, so I lied about knowing him to hide my concern for his well being. I’m so sorry for that.”

Terri blinked twice. Sue rolled her eyes.

“He’s… _troubled_ in some way?” Terri asked, her voice faint and distant now.

“I don’t really know. That’s why I came over. I just wanted to talk to him.”

Terri closed her eyes and shook her head back and forth.

“I knew it. This explains _everything,_ ” Terri whispered. “I knew that something was going on. All this time spent with the “glee club” and all the lying and the shouting and the FIGHTING. I _knew_ he was hiding something…”

Her lip quivered.

“There’s another woman.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say _that_ exactly,” Sue said as she flashed Jesse a private smile.

“Well, I don’t think that Andrew-“ Jesse attempted to mitigate the conclusion Terri had drawn, but she cut him off.

“It’s the guilt! That’s what it is! The guilt is finally catching up to him, and now it shows on his face so clearly that even strangers can see it!” She practically spat the word out, _strangers_ , and then gestured to Jesse in a derogatory fashion. “He hasn’t been himself lately. I guess he was never himself. Not really.”

Jesse was glad to throw off Terri’s suspicions, but he found little comfort in her hysterics, especially when they were directed toward Andrew. Terri rose from her seat. She picked up her arms and then let them slap down toward her sides in surrender.

“I give up. I have grated my behind over this marriage, trying _desperately_ to repair it, and what do I have to show for it? This whole time I’ve thought there was something wrong with me, can you believe it? Something wrong WITH ME?!!!”

Sue curled her lip and shifted her gaze toward the ceiling to avoid eye contact. Jesse opted to look toward the floor. Neither of them hoped the question would be reiterated.

“Well I have **had it**!” Terri said, grabbing the soup container. “I’ve wracked my brain trying to think of ways to make Andrew happier, to make life better for the both of us…but nothing I do ever makes a bit of difference. Well, guess what? I don’t care anymore!”

Terri stomped over to the wastebasket and blithely tossed the Tupperware container into it from chest level. The Tupperware opened slightly, spilling out its viscous contents as it smacked against the bottom of the basket. It smelled like raw chicken, old cheese, and wet cabbage. Jesse held his hand over his nose and mouth as the aroma began to waft through the air. He tried to pass the gesture off as shock. Sue seemed just as repulsed by the smell, but made no attempt to hide her disgust.

“If either of you see Andrew, tell him that he won’t ever have to tip-toe around me again. I’m done!” And with that, Terri marched toward the door, threw it open, and clattered down the hallway in her heels.

Sue looked over to Jesse and smiled.

“Way to go, homewrecker. You had me worried there for a moment, but in the end, when all was said and done, you still managed to ruin a marriage. Kudos, kiddo!”

Sue slapped Jesse on the shoulder and exited. Jesse stayed a few moments, but then found it necessary to leave as well. The combination of guilt, embarrassment, and the smell from Terri’s soup made it impossible for him to wait for Andrew any longer.

***

That Friday, Jesse was a complete mess. He walked toward the gymnasium door, stopped before he could grab the handle, and then shuddered at the thought of entering. He turned around, and began to walk back to his office. About five paces away, he shook his head and then turned to face the door once again. Once he got to the handle, his arm froze and he realized that he could not summon the strength to actually pull the door open and simply walk in.

He leaned up against the door and pressed his ear to the frame. He could hear Sue introduce her Cheerios to the student body. After the Cheerios performed, Coach Beiste would be up. She would introduce the football player roster to the school. Then, after that, the Glee club would close out the program, and Andrew would surely be in the audience for that…

Just the thought of Andrew so close made Jesse start to panic. He struggled to remember his deep-breathing exercises.

Jesse wanted to talk to Andrew more than anything, but he had no idea what to say to him. There were just too many possibilities for him to fathom: Did Andrew know that Jesse was responsible for ruining his marriage? Did he hate him now?

Andrew, had left several messages on his office phone yesterday afternoon, but Jesse managed to ignore them all by choosing to delete the whole lot in one fell swoop. It was a satisfying maneuver, but only in the short term sense.

At that precise moment, with his hand gripped tightly to the handle, more than anything, Jesse wished that he had listened to just one of Andrew’s messages.

“Mr. Eisenberg?” A voiced called out from behind him. Jesse startled.

“Oh, wow. Hello, er. Hello…Brittany. How are you doing?”

“Mr. Eisenberg, why aren’t you at the assembly? We’ll be on soon. Don’t you want to see us perform?”

“I would really like to attend, Brittany, but there’s an emergency back at my office that I have to, er, that I sort of need to…” Each potential excuse died on Jesse’s lips when he saw Brittany twist her head in confusion.

He could never lie to a student, much less one as innocent-looking as Brittany.

“I’m just a little anxious. That’s all. Crowds make me nervous.”

“Don’t worry.” Brittany said with a smile and a dismissive wave of her hand. “You won’t have to sit with the crowd. You can sit at the base of the bleachers with Mr. Garfield. That’s where the faculty always sits. I can show you where if you want.”

Jesse smiled sadly. His shoulders slumped in defeat.

“That would be…lovely. Thank you, Brittany.”

Brittany led him back around to another entrance so that they could inconspicuously move to area in front of bleachers where the faculty members were sitting in special collapsible chairs. Nobody noticed Jesse’s fashionably late appearance. Everyone was hypnotized by Sue’s Cheerio Extravaganza, which necessitated the use of two trampolines, five glitter cannons, and three flaming hoops. Brittany happily deposited Jesse right next to Andrew, who pretended to be engrossed in the program rather than his new seatmate. Jesse ignored him and looked up to Brittany instead to express his gratitude to her.

“Brittany, thank you very much. But I was wondering....why are you not out there with the other Cheerios?”

Brittany shrugged and looked off to the side. She was struggling to get the phrasing of what she wanted to express just right, as if she were reciting a poem or monologue from Shakespeare.

“Coach Sylvester said that I need to save what little gray matter I have left for when she decides to do testing on her human cannonball project in January.”

Jesse closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“Brittany, would you do me a favor and swing by my office sometime next week for another session?”

Brittany sparkled. “Can I bring my fondue pot?”

“No. I'm sorry. But maybe some other time.”

“Can I bring my camera so that I can interview you for my video blog?”

Jesse frowned. “Only _after_ we have a talk about your extracurricular activities.”

Brittany nodded and then waved goodbye. She said that she had to rush off to join the others backstage. When she finally left, Andrew and Jesse were alone. Sue’s program was over and Coach Beiste had taken the microphone from her so she could start announcing the football team roster.

“Is that all it takes to get an appointment with you?” Andrew scoffed. “Risk one’s livelihood by becoming a human cannonball?”

Jesse glared at Andrew. He couldn't believe how flippant he was being given the gravity of the situation. Any sense of anxiety Jesse was feeling melted away under Andrew's attack, and all that was left was resentment (for Andrew's deceit) and anger (for his own foolish optimism).

“Oh, I’m sorry. Are you talking to me now?” Jesse asked in the best caustic voice he could summon under pressure. “Because I tried to track you down yesterday and you were the one who was mysteriously unavailable.”

“I wasn’t able to make it to my classes in the morning. Once I got to campus, I tried calling you over and over again-”

“Oh yes, thanks so much for the heads up by the way. Your substitute had to fill me in. Nice lady by the name of Holly Holiday? Very attractive. Very charming. I’m sure she’s just your type.”

Andrew looked offended. “What? What do you mean _just my type_?”

“Andrew! Everything that happened yesterday was so horrible and awkward and….humiliating! And none of it had to be. You should have just told me the truth from the start. I can’t believe I thought for even one second that you might actually-“

Jesse couldn’t bring himself to complete the sentence. He just averted his gaze and slightly shifted his entire body away from Andrew.

“ _Jesse_ ,” Andrew whispered in desperation. He grabbed him by the shoulder and forced him to turn and look at him. “Would you _please_ tell me what’s going on?”

Jesse's mouth opened briefly as he began processing what was happening.

“You…you mean don’t know?”

Andrew held open his palms and shook them.

“Know _what_? You met Holly and now you think that I’m-” Andrew’s voice dropped to a whisper. “…you think that I’m _sleeping_ with her? She and I are friends! She’s the first person I ever came out to.”

Jesse closed his eyes in the briefest moment of relief and then exhaled. When it came time for him to inhale, he felt nothing but shame for thinking the things his overactive imagination had envisioned regarding Andrew’s relationship with Holly. Behaving that way made him no better than Terri, really.

He was horrified by how emotionally reactive he had been with Andrew. Hearing his wounded, clueless voice completely changed Jesse's outlook. Now, the fact that he had been embarrassed in front of Sue and Terri felt infinitesimally insignificant compared to the fact that Andrew’s marriage was over. Jesse wanted to slap himself so hard he would pass out. Anything would have been better than having to endure the aftermath of this conversation. He was so certain that Terri would have said something to Andrew, but, for now, he seemed to be in the dark about…everything.

And it looked like Jesse was the one who was going to have to enlighten him.

The music and the fervor of the cheering crowd seemed to be swirling around him; getting louder and brighter with each passing minute. Jesse attempted to center himself amidst the chaos. He edged closer to Andrew to whisper-shout the words directly into his ear. Andrew leaned into his touch without any hesitation, offering his ear up graciously as he bowed his head.

“Andrew, I went by your office to see you yesterday and I…I ran into your wife.”

Andrew was momentarily stunned. Neither man moved, but then, suddenly, Andrew withdrew his head, hair, and warmth from Jesse in a single violent motion. He whipped his head back and then stared at Jesse with a look that was both incredulous and shameful. Jesse felt like crying when he saw Andrew’s eyes widened to angry, grotesque proportions. He tried to elaborate, but Andrew closed his eyes and just shook his head back and forth, seemingly unable to accept the reality of the situation.

No one was paying them any heed, but Jesse still somehow felt everyone’s eyes burrowing under his skin. He looked over to Andrew and saw that his eyes were open again. Jesse tried to explain himself. He wore a convincing façade of calm, even though he was nothing but a roiling sea of nerves and heat on the inside.

“I suppose the meeting was something of a perfect storm, actually. Sue popped in at just the right time and…”

“Terri’s not my wife! She’s my _ex_ -wife,” Andrew blurted out.

“What?! What do you mean your _ex_ -wife?”

“Wait a minute, _Sue_ was there too?!”

“And next up! Daaaaave Karofskyyyyyyy.” Coach Beiste announced proudly over the microphone. Dave strutted in front of the crowd in his letterman jacket. Everyone burst into applause, except for Jesse and Andrew, who could only stare at each other in shock.

Jesse made a motion to speak, but his strangled response was drowned out by the crowd. He rubbed his right temple, closed his eyes, and shook his head angrily.

“Look...why don’t we pop out for a second and talk outside?” Andrew asked.

Jesse nodded his consent and followed Andrew back outside the gym. Andrew found a wooden bench outside the auditorium doors, right next to a pair of giant glass windows. Jesse took a seat next to him and braced himself to hear the whole sordid story.

***

Quinn was checking her make up backstage in her hand mirror when she noticed him.

Kurt had secluded himself from the group ever since the incident. No official accusations had been thrown out, but Kurt still felt guilty about what happened. He was sitting by himself, in the corner, drinking some water and doing vocal exercises before the big number. Quinn closed her compact, and walked over to Sam, who was busy tuning his guitar for their intro.

“Hey, come with me and follow my lead, okay?” Quinn whispered.

Sam looked confused at first, but then Quinn gestured to Kurt and he seemed to understand perfectly.

When he saw both Sam and Quinn walking toward him, Kurt’s eyes expanded far wider than his head should have allowed. He squinted as though he were regarding a possible mirage.

“Hi, Kurt.” Quinn said softly.

“Hello,” Kurt answered.

“Hey Kurt,” Sam added with a friendly wave.

Quinn licked her lips and hoped the exchange would become less awkward as they moved forward.

“Say Kurt, some of the Glee Clubers were thinking about having a Jake Gyllenhaal Movie Marathon at my house this weekend, but none of us have a copy of “The Good Girl”. I asked Tina and she said you had something of a Jake Gyllenhaal collection at your house…”

Kurt sighed unhappily and nodded, seeing what the courtesy was leading up to.

“Sure, you can borrow whatever you need. I have his entire filmography. Just write down what movies you’d like and please don’t scratch the discs when you handle them.”

Quinn smiled. “That’s so generous of you. Are you sure you don’t mind?”

Kurt shrugged and raised his eyebrows.

“So, what time is good for you?”

Kurt looked perplexed. “You want me to bring them over? Can’t you just come and pick them up after school, or something?

Quinn looked hurt. “No, no. I mean. What time could come over to join us? We wouldn’t want to start without you.”

Kurt’s mouth opened a little in surprise.

Quinn had never invited him to anything before.

“I, well, uh…”

“I mean, I know it’s super short notice, but it’s a recent development. We thought it might be fun to celebrate a little after all the rehearsals and drama from the week.”

“Who’s coming?”

“Me, Mercedes, Tina, and Brittany.”

Kurt sighed and nodded unhappily. “Oh, just us  _girls_ then?”

Quinn looked up at Sam and gave her eyelashes the tinniest flutter. Sam took the hint.

“Oh! And me too.” Sam said. “I love Jake Gyllenhall.”

Kurt raised his eyebrows. “ _You_ love Jake Gyllenhall?”

“Yeah! “Donnie Darko” is one of my favorite movies ever. And I think “Bubble Boy” is a severely underrated comedy. I’ll watch anything of his except “Love and Other Drugs”. I can’t stand the melodrama he and Anne Hathaway create in that movie. I didn’t buy them as a couple for a second.”

“Jake and Heath make the cutest couple in Brokeback Mountain. That’ll definitely be on our list.” Quinn interjected with a nod.

“Yeah, but we better make sure not to end the night with that one. That whole shirt-sniffing scene makes me so sad I could punch something.” Sam said with sad shake of his head. They both turned to regard Kurt, who still looked somewhat dazed by Sam’s latest revelation.

“Oh, yeah. Right. That’s no problem. I can bring Bubble Boy, Darko, Brokeback, and then maybe…Prince of Persia to keep it light for the finish? Unless attempted fratricide is too heavy for a party.”

“Hey! There’s ostrich racing in there too. You can’t go wrong with ostrich racing...or time travel!” Sam said as he pointed to Kurt and winked.

Santana popped in to interrupt the happy scene.

“Catfish! Stretch Marks! You’re up. Time to knock it out of the park so we can kill this thing and go home!”

Sam laughed.

“She’s like our Latina Han Solo…”

Sam and Quinn moved to leave, but Quinn turned around quickly.

“Brittany’s got my cell phone number. Get it from her and then we’ll come up with a time after the assembly, okay?”

Kurt nodded happily. “Sounds good.”

Quinn smiled and then walked off with Sam.

“You ready?” Sam asked, pulling his guitar around to the front of his body.

Quinn nodded. “I am now.”

***

“Terri and I got divorced around April. I didn’t tell her about- about myself, because I was still coming to terms with my identity. I thought if I expressed any ambivalence she would try to, I don’t know, “fix” my gayness. She’s kind of a control freak.”

“And in denial.” Jesse added. “If you guys got divorced, then someone forgot to send her a memo because she has not moved on _at all_. She used present tense verbs, called you ‘my’ Andrew….she even made you chicken soup.”

“Yeah, I saw that in the trashcan. I’ve confronted her about breaking into my office before, but it’s obvious that she’s still not getting the picture.”

“Wait, that’s how she got in?! And she’s broken in before?”

Andrew nodded slowly.

“Wow.”

“I recently avoided contact with her by saying I was coming down with something. She told me to stop by our old place to pick up some homemade soup. I refused, so she told me she didn't care and that she would visit me at school and drop it off in person if she had to. I just….I just couldn’t deal with the thought of engaging her right now.” Andrew looked down shamefully.

“It’s not my proudest moment, Jess. I know missing class to avoid my ex-wife must sound really immature and unprofessional and dishonest-”

“No, I mean, if she’s broken into your office, I can see why you would be a little, er, hesitant to have a heart-to-heart with her.”

“She actually pretended to be pregnant just so we wouldn’t go through with the divorce. Can you believe that?”

“No! You’re kidding?”

“It’s kind of a long story.”

“For another time?”

“Yeah…”

“A time when we have easy access to alcohol and tiny bowls of peanuts?”

“Exactly!”

“Well, I have to admit…I am a little relieved to find out you two had already severed ties.”

“How come?”

“Well, Sue popped into your office so she could pick a fight with you, but once she saw Terri there, her mind shifted gears into maniacal, Disney Villain mode. She tried to make us out to be clandestine lovers. In order to prevent any further stickiness from arising, I had to confess why I came by your office.”

“And why did you come by my office?” Andrew asked with a smirk.

Jesse steeled his gaze. “After what happened on Wednesday night, I just wanted to make sure that you were healthy…emotionally.” He paused, and then relaxed his face. “And, honestly, I also really wanted to see...you.”

Andrew leaned his head back against the wall. His eyes brimmed with gratitude.

“Thank you. I, well, I really wanted to see you too...”

“Don’t thank me just yet. See, I tried explaining my concern to Terri by saying that you looked “preoccupied” when we last spoke. I thought that would be a non-volatile word.”

Andrew bit his lip. “I imagine it is for most people. How did Terri take it?”

“She somehow interpreted “preoccupied” as meaning “guilty” and then she concocted this elaborate scenario that had you committing infidelities left and right.”

“Terri did always have a flair for the dramatics…”

“She finally gave up and said she was going to stop trying to fix your marital problems, which I interpreted as current marital problems, thanks to Sue. She called me a homewrecker, which, believe it or not, is actually a first for me.”

“So that’s why you didn’t return my calls?”

“I thought you were going to tell me how much you hated me. After being led to believe I destroyed your marriage, I couldn’t take the thought of losing you too. Our paths were bound to cross again, but I thought I could delay the inevitable a little while longer.”

“You thought I would hate you? For what? You didn’t do anything!”

“Wrong place. Wrong time. It’s the oldest story in the book. I just- I didn’t know how you would take it.”

“Jesse, I could never hate you. For anything. Besides, I’m the one to blame for this mess.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You wouldn’t have been ambushed if I had gotten the nerve to tell you about Terri sooner. You wouldn’t have had to come out to the Glee club if I had thought of some way to fix their problems on my own. And Sue would have never targeted you in the first place if you hadn’t come to my defense after we ate lunch together…”

“Andrew.” Jesse groaned a bit into his name this time, pleading with him. “You didn’t make me help you. I _wanted_ to help you. It was my pleasure, and I would do it all again. In a heartbeat. _Half_ a heartbeat.”

Andrew looked up at him, hopeful now.

“Of course, that doesn’t change the fact that you do have a lot of unresolved issues in your life right now. Terri being at the top of the list. You know that, right? I mean, I don't think that we've done anything wrong per se, but you have to admit that it's kind of a weird high-wire act that we're all walking here, right?"

Andrew nodded.

“I never wanted to put Terri in this position. It’s been hard for me, but I imagine it must be so much worse for her.”

“You weren’t sure what you were feeling back then. Not saying anything was reasonable at the time, but now that you feel more confident about your identity…maybe it would help the both of you if you told her the whole story.” Jesse offered.

Andrew nodded.

“I will.”

Jesse smiled.

“Good.”

“You know,” Andrew said. “I never wanted to put you in this position either.”

“I know.”

“I was going to tell you everything. I swear that I was, Jess.”

“I know.” Jesse nodded.

“I just thought you would get scared off if you knew how messed up my life really was, and what a complete novice I am at all this.”

“No deductions have been made your total score.” Jesse grinned. “And if we were taking off points for neurotic, emotional baggage, trust me, I would be in the negative numbers by now.”

Andrew laughed.

“In that case, I suppose if we’re going to go ahead and do this, we ought to take things slowly.”

“Go ahead and do _what_ , exactly?” Jesse asked with raised eyebrows.

“Be in a relationship.” Andrew said.

“Oh. I see. So…we’re dating now?”

“ _Courting_ seems to be a more accurate word somehow. Do people still use that expression?”

“I do.”

“Good. I do too.”

Jesse scratched his ear. “And when, exactly, did we move from near simultaneous outings to…courtship?”

“I tried to call you up yesterday to explain, but _someone_ never picked up his phone. The lawyers told me that they had to upgrade the friendship contract.”

“Well, I suppose the lawyers know best…” Jesse said, letting his voice trail off.

“But wait! What am I thinking, trying to declare an Official State of Courtship without properly asking you for permission first?”

“How uncouth! Mr. Garfield, you're such a scoundrel.”

“So, how's about it, Mr. Eisenberg?” Andrew said as he took hold one of Jesse’s hands.

Jesse looked around nervously.

“You are _insane_.”

“Mr. Eisenberg, would you allow me, a freshly uncloseted man of British heritage, the honor of courting you?”

“Oh, well, let me think about it for one mo- _yes_.” Jesse answered quickly, trying to subdue his grin.

“Are you sure? This isn’t going to be ideal. I mean, Terri will no doubt feel misled.”

“Just so long as she doesn’t feed me her soup.”

“And Sue will try her damndest to make our lives miserable.”

“Honestly, I think that going to happen even if we _weren’t_ dating each other.”

“And the kids will obviously have something to say about all this.”

“We’re consenting adults! Wait, are you _trying_ to talk me out of this?”

Andrew’s eyes shifted. “I just can’t believe that you would want to do this with me. I mean, I’m a newbie at all of this, and you’re so…so smart, and funny, and handsome and-

“Andrew? Stop…” Jesse said placing his other hand over Andrew’s, sandwiching his palm with his own hands in the process.

“You should know that I think all those same things about you. And trust me, I’m just as surprised by you as you are by me.”

Andrew smiled. The two stared at each other for a moment that almost turned into a kiss, but once they stopped talking, they realized that they could hear a familiar melody being sung in the distance. They strained to listen, and finally recognized the voices as belonging to Quinn and Sam.

“The kids!” Andrew shouted. “They’ve already started!”

Jesse and Andrew leapt from their bench and ran to the auditorium doors. They got to their seats just in time to watch San and Quinn finish the introduction. After they bowed briefly, the other Glee clubbers came charging out from behind the stage. Sam gave his guitar to a stage hand and fell back in line with Quinn so that they merged with the incoming kids.

Mercedes and Artie took center stage.

“[ _You went to school to learn girl. What you never never knew before._](http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=ho7796-au8U)” Artie sang.

“ _Like I before E except after C. Why two plus two makes four._ ” Mercedes sang-replied.

“ _I’m gonna teach you. All about love girl. So sit yourself down, take a seat. All you gotta do is repeat after me._ ”

The entire group joined in for the chorus.

_“ABC. Easy as 123. Simple as do-re-mi, ABC, 123, baby you and me, girl!”_

_“ABC. Easy as 123. Simple as do-re-mi, ABC, 123, baby you and me, girl!”_

***

Once the performance was over, the entire auditorium jumped to their feet in a standing ovation. Andrew gave a happy leap and hooted his pride at the Glee club. He looked over at Jesse and saw that he was clapping vigorously right along with him, a proud smile beaming on his face. Andrew couldn’t help but marvel at this quiet gesture amidst the cacophony of the crowd...

Jesse was still here.

After every worst case scenario Jesse had to endure; Sue’s meddling, Kurt’s accusation, Terri’s insanity, Andrew’s own insecurities…Jesse was still here, standing by his side.

In that moment, when Andrew had suspected it wasn't possible for him to adore Jesse any more than he already did, he still found a way.

***

Jesse and Andrew congratulated the Glee club backstage. They shook their hands and praised them until their voices were nearly hoarse. The kids were ecstatic. They were all hopeful that their fantastic performance would encourage other students to join the club. Well, to be precise, _most_ of them were.

“Are you guys serious? This school always gets popularity amnesia after we perform,” Santana pointed out. “We rock their socks off and then three days later we’re back to bottom feeding. Why is everyone acting like we actually accomplished something?”

Andrew tried his best to frame the assembly as a milestone for the Glee Club. He insisted that they had shown immense growth as a team and that the performance was a promising taste of all the great things they would accomplish this year. When the club’s interest in Andrew’s speech began to wane, Jesse buoyed their spirits by offering to treat everyone to pizza at Breadstix. Everyone cheered and counted off heads and cars so that every club member had a ride to the restaurant.

When Andrew and Jesse got to the school's parking lot they looked around and realized that they were finally alone for a moment. Andrew leaned in to speak to Jesse more intimately, but noticed that Jesse looked anxious. He seemed to be distracted by something happening behind Andrew.

“Don’t look now.” Jesse said with raised eyebrows

“What is it?” Andrew asked, turning around.

“Well, geez. How to put this..." Jesse began with a snort. "By the pricking of my thumb, something wicked this way comes."

Andrew squinted at the figure approaching in the distance and realized it was Sue Sylvester. They stayed their ground until she caught up to them.

“Frodo Baggins? J.K. Rowling?” Sue began as she tipped an imaginary hat at Jesse and Andrew. “I’m here to concede defeat. You’ve won this round.”

“Thanks, Sue.” Andrew nodded, still somewhat cautious.

“The assembly was a major success, and while your escapades usually bore me to tears, I was actually quite moved by this one. I don’t much care for those White Stripes people, but I am actually a _huge_ Michael Jackson fan, particularly of the work he did while he was still black.”

Jesse’s head remained still and attentive, but his eyes darted over to Andrew, who let a grin sneak out of the corners of his mouth.

“When I first heard about the death of Mr. Michael Joseph Jackson, my heart wept…and has been weeping, ever since. I’ve tried to silence the pain by focusing on things like protein shakes, Cheerios practice, and Kegel exercises for my pelvic region, but nothing has really helped me move on with my life…nothing until today.”

Andrew raised both eyebrows in surprise. Jesse arched only one, skeptically.

“Watching your disgusting grubs sing and dance made me realize that Michael’s music still lives on inside each and every one of us. Every horrible American Idol cover, every poorly choreographed rendition of Thriller at a wedding reception, every mediocre performance, no matter how lackluster and impotent, is _still_ a tribute to the King of Pop.”

Sue finished her monologue by thrusting a single fist in the air.

“Long live the King.”

“Well, uh, thank you, Sue.”

“Additionally, I’m sure the both of you will be happy to know that I am retiring as the Health and Wellness teacher. Coach Beiste will be taking over the class for the rest of the semester. I came to the conclusion that scheming up ways to destroy your Glee club while I taught that class was a giant waste of time and energy.”

“Sue! I don’t know what to say-”

“I realized that if I quit teaching in the classroom, I could increase my scheme time by _at least_ 60%. I’ve done the math and the projected numbers for the new term are truly staggering.”

Andrew’s face fell once he realized what Sue was saying. Jesse’s face didn’t waver. He had expected such a maneuver from Sue. For this reason, he was able to formulate a response before Andrew.

“Well, we certainly wish you the very best, Sue.”

“Aww, thank you Thumper! I hope you and Bambi have a nice night out with your woodland creature friends. I know that I ran you boys through the wringer this week, but you should rest up! Enjoy the _fruits_ of your labor…” Sue said as she moved toward her car. She clicked her alarm and opened the door.

“Because all this? _This_ was just the beginning.”

And with that, Sue hopped into her car and sped off, leaving Andrew and Jesse in a cloud of dust.

“What was that supposed to mean?” Andrew asked in between coughs.

“Not sure. It didn’t sound particularly supportive though.” Jesse said, coughing slightly as well.

“Well, it was to be expected.”

“You’re not having any reservations about, um, signing the contract…are you?”

Andrew simply smiled at Jesse. “Not in the slightest.”

Jesse began to walk over to his car, but then paused.

“Say! Do you want to do something together after we have dinner with the kids?”

“What did you have in mind?”

“Well, it’s not a terribly original idea, but we could watch a movie.”

“Fun.”

“At my place?”

“Even more fun!”

“Oh, good! I have Seven Brides for Seven Brothers on DVD. I must warn you though, I have to watch the barn dancing scene at least three times in a row before I can progress any further into the film. It’s one of my many neurotic idiosyncrasies. I’m letting you know all this ahead of time so that you can still back out if you are so inclined. I won’t think less of you.”

“Sounds perfectly lovely to me!” Andrew called out with a happy shrug of his shoulders as he began to walk to his car. Jesse was flabbergasted.

As he entered his own car, before he turned on the ignition, Jesse grabbed his arm and gave himself one good pinch, just to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. He was genuinely surprised when nothing happened.

He smiled and reflected on Sue’s parting words. When framed within a different context, they didn’t seem quite so sinister...

“This was just the beginning.”


End file.
